The Land of Hobbit's, Volcanoes, and more tight dark Crevices
Finally, Juan Pablo takes his 8 remaining ladies to a place I’d actually like to travel to- New Zealand ! It is sooooo beautiful there.
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The girls are staying at the Huka Lodge. Andi finally gets her first 1 on 1 date, she was the last remaining lady not to have a solo date. Both Clare and Cassandra are jealous, what? they had the first dates the very first week. And I know Clare isn’t complaining, she’s had the most time out of anybody!! Cassandra says she wanted the date because she misses her son and it's her 22nd bday this week. Her and Renee have a good cry together.
On her date, Juan Pablo takes Andi on a speed boat down a pretty river.
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Watch out, JP loves to make out in or around water. New Zealand is gorgeous but it looks pretty chilly and rainy so it must be their winter. They look like they are freezing.
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(Credit:ABC)Watch out, JP loves to make out in or around water. New Zealand is gorgeous but it looks pretty chilly and rainy so it must be their winter. They look like they are freezing.
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What? You’re cold? Then strip down to your swimsuits and jump in the water lol. They obey and the water is about knee deep at the moment but freezing.
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Juan Pablo guides her to a crevice between two caves called The Squeeze. The water gets deeper and deeper and the crack gets narrower and narrower. JP must also have a thing for caves and dark, tight places....Clare?
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Man, if you were claustrophobic you would be screwed. JP just wants her to trust him, trust has nothing to do with being stuck in a canyon forever! They can tell the water in starting to get a little warmer and they see a clearing at the end, and it’s a huge waterfall! Stunning. The waterfall is warm so they huddle underneath it and of course make out.
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So let me just gets this straight Juan Pabs, making out in the ocean is bad, but doing what looks like the same exact thing in a waterfall is ok?? Sure.
(Credit:ABC)Juan Pablo guides her to a crevice between two caves called The Squeeze. The water gets deeper and deeper and the crack gets narrower and narrower. JP must also have a thing for caves and dark, tight places....Clare?
(Credit:ABC)(Credit:ABC)(Credit:ABC)Man, if you were claustrophobic you would be screwed. JP just wants her to trust him, trust has nothing to do with being stuck in a canyon forever! They can tell the water in starting to get a little warmer and they see a clearing at the end, and it’s a huge waterfall! Stunning. The waterfall is warm so they huddle underneath it and of course make out.
(Credit:ABC)(Credit:ABC)(Credit:ABC)So let me just gets this straight Juan Pabs, making out in the ocean is bad, but doing what looks like the same exact thing in a waterfall is ok?? Sure.
Later at dinner, they are all bundled up in coats and gloves. They have dinner in front of some steam geysers.
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A huge geyser goes off and soaks everything,
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After a failed attempt to use a blanket for cover, they run for a dry area and leave the ruined dinner behind. They chat and try to unthaw.
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Since they haven’t had dinner, I’m sure the champagne has gone to her head. She starts drunk spilling her heart out. Andi says she just wants a great love, losing a job or not having nice things doesn’t matter when you have a lot of love in your life. She also goes on to say how much she can’t wait to have kids, of course JP can’t get the rose out fast enough, which he has hidden in his jacket.
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Smooth lol. They make-out of course.
(Credit:ABC)(Credit:ABC)A huge geyser goes off and soaks everything,
(Credit:ABC)(Credit:ABC)(Credit:ABC)After a failed attempt to use a blanket for cover, they run for a dry area and leave the ruined dinner behind. They chat and try to unthaw.
(Credit:ABC)Since they haven’t had dinner, I’m sure the champagne has gone to her head. She starts drunk spilling her heart out. Andi says she just wants a great love, losing a job or not having nice things doesn’t matter when you have a lot of love in your life. She also goes on to say how much she can’t wait to have kids, of course JP can’t get the rose out fast enough, which he has hidden in his jacket.
(Credit:ABC)Smooth lol. They make-out of course.
Group date- Sharleen, Chelsie, Renee, Nikki, Kat and Cassandra. Which means Clare is the first one to get a second 1 on 1 date, and no one is surprised. Well except Clare who does her best shocked Taylor Swift face, who me? They called my name? Anyways it is Cass 22nd bday so she's bummed she didn't get the next 1 on 1 date, hello? Does JP even know it's your bday??? The producers sure as he'll aren't gonna tell him, and ruin potential drama, no way. They start out having a nice picnic on a beautiful hillside.
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Afterwards, JP takes the ladies over the hill, where giant inflatable hamster balls are waiting.
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Sharleens like "where does it end?" and Nikki replies "badly" LOL. I like Nikki's sense of humor. They change into their swimsuits and JP and Kat go first. They slide into the ball. Yeah it sounds as bad as it was, I swear they added squishy sound effects too.
(Credit:ABC)Afterwards, JP takes the ladies over the hill, where giant inflatable hamster balls are waiting.
(Credit:ABC)(Credit:ABC)Sharleens like "where does it end?" and Nikki replies "badly" LOL. I like Nikki's sense of humor. They change into their swimsuits and JP and Kat go first. They slide into the ball. Yeah it sounds as bad as it was, I swear they added squishy sound effects too.
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They even add water inside the ball so you basically just slide around.
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Next it's Nikki turn in the bubble ball with JP, they make out. At the end, the ball spits you out like a newborn baby, fluid and all.
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(Credit:ABC)Next it's Nikki turn in the bubble ball with JP, they make out. At the end, the ball spits you out like a newborn baby, fluid and all.
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Later that night they have dinner at Hobbiton!! The hobbit house from The Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit.
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Sharleen in geeking out too and I love it. Cassandra does her best Sméagol impression, how old was she when this came out, 9 years old??
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oh there's a kitty in the hobbit house! I. Want. The. Hobbit. Kitty!
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Chelsie and said kitty apparently take a cat nap together. Juan Pablo pulls Renee away first, ya know, since Clare isn't there lol.
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Renee talks about her and Renees cry session earlier about missing their sons. They apparently realized some guys don't actually think kids are baggage......yeah guys with kids/baggage too, duh. JP looks conflicted for a second but makes out with her anyways. Nikki admits that she is falling for him and JP loves that she is sharing her feelings. It starts to get really awkward when he sits down with Sharleen. She starts to talk but he lunges in for a kiss.
(Credit:ABC)(Credit:ABC)Sharleen in geeking out too and I love it. Cassandra does her best Sméagol impression, how old was she when this came out, 9 years old??
(Credit:ABC)oh there's a kitty in the hobbit house! I. Want. The. Hobbit. Kitty!
(Credit:ABC)(Credit:ABC)(Credit:ABC)Chelsie and said kitty apparently take a cat nap together. Juan Pablo pulls Renee away first, ya know, since Clare isn't there lol.
(Credit:ABC)Renee talks about her and Renees cry session earlier about missing their sons. They apparently realized some guys don't actually think kids are baggage......yeah guys with kids/baggage too, duh. JP looks conflicted for a second but makes out with her anyways. Nikki admits that she is falling for him and JP loves that she is sharing her feelings. It starts to get really awkward when he sits down with Sharleen. She starts to talk but he lunges in for a kiss.
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I think that's becoming his new signature move, kiss bombing, just kissing them mid sentence. She is obviously caught off guard and the kiss is very awkward, again. She pulls away because she wanted to hold an actual conversation right before her lips were all violated. She asks him how he's doing and he's all "greeeeaaaat", turns out he's clearly drunk
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Ok then, how do you think I'm feeling? Another "greeeeaaattt". Sharleen is clearly not impressed.
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Meanwhile, the other girls are having a makeshift birthday party for Cassandra, remember because she's 22.
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Cassandra really wants the group date rose, but instead of telling Juan Pablo it was her birthday, she talks about her son. Ok I get it, some of these girls are mothers, do they not have anything else to talk about? Do they have any other similar qualities than the ability to reproduce?
(Credit:ABC)(Credit:ABC)Cassandra really wants the group date rose, but instead of telling Juan Pablo it was her birthday, she talks about her son. Ok I get it, some of these girls are mothers, do they not have anything else to talk about? Do they have any other similar qualities than the ability to reproduce?
So guess who gets the date rose? The one who's time he completely bombed and needs to make up for.......yep it's Sharleen. But wait one second, JP wants to speak with Cassandra. Oh Shit, I know whats happening here, he's sending her ass home right now! She thinks he's taking her outside to finally wish her a happy birthday. It's a torrential downpour outside, man I feel really bad for Cass here.
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He starts out with the normal- you're beautiful, you're great but.....
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She finally catches on that he's sending her packing. He's always said he is going to cut the mothers as soon as he no longer felt a connection, so he's no longer feeling it. He "respects" her too much to make her wait until the rose ceremony. And it's her flippin Birthday. I bet JP feels horrible seeing this now, she should have freaking said something!! But then again, who wants a pity rose on their birthday. Maybe this was the best present after all
(Credit:ABC) (Credit:ABC)He starts out with the normal- you're beautiful, you're great but.....
(Credit:ABC)She finally catches on that he's sending her packing. He's always said he is going to cut the mothers as soon as he no longer felt a connection, so he's no longer feeling it. He "respects" her too much to make her wait until the rose ceremony. And it's her flippin Birthday. I bet JP feels horrible seeing this now, she should have freaking said something!! But then again, who wants a pity rose on their birthday. Maybe this was the best present after all
Time for Clare's second 1 on 1 date. Juan Pablo has packed a picnic and they discuss the ocean "scandal" last week. JP really hurt her.
(Credit:ABC)Juan Pablo basically apologizes and they make out. Clare askes if this is their first fight? You're not even in an official relationship yet and you're already fighting, yeah not a good sign.
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Back at Juan Pablo's suite, why is he always taking her back to his place and then expects her not to be wanting more?!? Hello! Anyways she talks about how in the past, she would always bolt at the first sign of trouble but this time she is sticking around because she is on a free trip all the way across the world here for him. Juan Pablo asks what bolt means, that would get annoying, you're already signing up to be an instant step mother, now you have to basically teach JP the English language. No Thanks.
They slip into pajamas. Seriously Juan Pablo, you are just toying with her emotions now! Dangling that JP bait right in her face. She comes out in sweats and JP can barely contain himself.
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She's all like most women and is like, you like this better than the pretty cocktail dresses. Juan Pablo and my husband both agree. Men, who knows.
(Credit:ABC)She's all like most women and is like, you like this better than the pretty cocktail dresses. Juan Pablo and my husband both agree. Men, who knows.
JP says he sees a future with Clare, he really likes her giddiness. Then he goes and turns on the song from that guy no one knows from their very first date. Ok that was sweet, almost makes up for the mind games he plays with her. She gets the rose, Duh! And they probably hooked up again then told her they can never do that again......until the next time they see each other, but that's the last time.
Cocktail Party-
Nikki gets the first alone time, and for some reason he tells her he is wearing pink underwear?? She says she likes a man in pink underwear and she likes him too. Wow, ok cheesy. Juan Pablo likes that she shares her feelings.
Renee talks about the departed Cassandra and you guessed, the fact that they all have kids. But Juan Pablo isn't sick of it yet, in fact he loves when she talks about kids, it gets his man ovaries all in a tizzy.
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Chelsie and Kat start doing the math and realize the final rose will probably be between them two. Duh! Clare, Andi and Sharleen already have roses. They know he likes him some Nikki the Nurse and Renee the Mother, so that leaves the two of them. Before now, I figured Chelsie would be one of the ones getting the axe tonight, but Kat tells everyone there is no way she is going home before Chelsie and she pretty much seals her fate right there.
When Chelsie is with Juan Pablo, she seems quirky and goofy and dances silly. I think Juan Pablo likes that she doesn't take herself seriously but still seems caring and genuine. Kat on the other hand is clearly sexy and has all the dance moves JP is looking for, but I feel like she has to sell the appearance that she has some depth, about the struggle with her alcoholic father. But I don't think him and Chelsie really have any sexual chemistry, I just think JP sees more of a motherly figure in her rather than Kat.
Rose Ceremony-
Everyone gets the rose as expected, and Kat is going home. I bet she feels like a cheap piece of trash after seeing that he sent Cassandra home mid date b/c he "respects" her too much, but Kat, yeah you can wait.
AS Kat leaves, Sharleen is in tears. In the confessional, she says she thinks some of the other girls suit him better. She sobs that she is going to give it another week to see if their is something she is missing. If not, it's best that she leaves. And I think Sharleen should give Brooks a call from last season as soon as she obvisouly leaves this joint next week!!
Also next week- Back to JP's home, Miami. oh good, so Clare can screw him in his room there too. Clare and Nikki get into fight, apparently Nikki mistakenly thinks JP is her territory, when clearly he is Clare's lol. Can't wait!!
AS Kat leaves, Sharleen is in tears. In the confessional, she says she thinks some of the other girls suit him better. She sobs that she is going to give it another week to see if their is something she is missing. If not, it's best that she leaves. And I think Sharleen should give Brooks a call from last season as soon as she obvisouly leaves this joint next week!!
Also next week- Back to JP's home, Miami. oh good, so Clare can screw him in his room there too. Clare and Nikki get into fight, apparently Nikki mistakenly thinks JP is her territory, when clearly he is Clare's lol. Can't wait!!
OH!!!!! THE CREDITS!!!- on the hamster bubble date, Juan Pablo chunks goat shit at all the ladies, I shit you not.
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They have to blur the shit out!?!?!?!?? Hilarious!
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Oh Hell No!! Instead of packing up what little remaining dignity and walking off the damn show right then and there, all the girls run screaming like little school girls. Renee even picks some up and throws it back at him!!
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(Credit:ABC)(Credit:ABC)They have to blur the shit out!?!?!?!?? Hilarious!
(Credit:ABC)Oh Hell No!! Instead of packing up what little remaining dignity and walking off the damn show right then and there, all the girls run screaming like little school girls. Renee even picks some up and throws it back at him!!
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