Bachelorette Des- The Finale

That time is finally here! The Shocking Conclusion! Can it top last weeks drama and heartbreak? We will find out.  Tonight is bittersweet, Mondays are losing their only redeeming quality.  We have to wait all the way until January for the next bachelor......who will it be??? We find out everything tonight.  Tonight's episode is being shown in front of a live studio audience, this is a huge bachelor nation event. The episode officially begins and we pick right back up where we left off last week, Des is still torn up about Brooks departure.  Harrison asks Des if she's ok, she tries to hold back the tears but she is clearly not ok. She says "at this point, I just want to go home"  this clip as been teased all season and I have no idea what's going to happen.  I'm hoping Brooks comes walking up any second but I guess that's just my wishful thinking.  After many, many tears later, Des decides she if going to go ahead with the rose ceremony, oh yeah, forgot about that.  Chris and Drew have absolutely no clue that Des' world has been turned upside down.  They arrive for the ceremony and Harrison informs them that Brooks will not be joining them tonight and lets Des explain.  Well at least she tries to, she looks like she is going to bust out in tears any second.  She says Brooks chose to leave on his own and it really hurt, she then tells the guys that if they don't have feelings for her in return to please not accept the rose and then breaks down. Poor girl, the guys look crushed and look like they just want to console her. Chris says he loves her.  Drew says he is ready to propose and could never walk away, like Brooks did. Cut to live audience, Chris asks some of the ladies some questions.  The booze must be flowing because these bitches be slurring, who's got the drunk eye? that girl.

 

The next day, Des has a date with Drew.  They are going horseback riding around the island and Des doesn't even hop down from the horse to greet him, ouch. She asks him what he's been up to.....hanging by the pool? No. By the beach? Nope. ok then what have you been doing? Oh just sitting in my room. Man this is painful! Des is just not feeling it. She says she just can not get excited about this date, she can't even enjoy the beautiful view.  This is not looking good for Drew. Afterwards, they sit down to have a picnic on the beach and Des says "we need to talk".  No good has ever followed those words.  Long story short, she just knows it's not right.  Drew is shocked but tells her she should not have to apologize for not loving him back.  Surprisingly Drew takes it pretty well, no man tears or nothing. Damn. I knew he was not going to be around much longer but I did not expect her to cut him in the middle of the date.

 

Next is Chris and I really hope his date goes better.....or they won't have anything to show for the last two hours.  Chris also has no idea he is the last man standing. Des seems relaxed around him and she's actually smiling again, yay!  They have always been so cute together but Brooks always seemed to steal the show. Ok I will stop talking about him, he's not coming back.  Des takes Chris out on the catamaran that Brooks didn't use last week, ouch.  Chris brings up the rose ceremony and how he just wanted to run over and give her a hug when she started crying. The also says "you'll have a shoulder to cry on if you have to, you will never have to just stand there by yourself".  AWWWW   They makeout on the boat, then in the ocean and all i can think about is shark week! Watch out for Megalodon!! LOL. That night, Des meets Chris back at his room and she pounces in the door to lay one on him, girl must be excited.  Chris toasts to the night.  He says their relationship has never taken a step back, they always pick up right where they left off.....the complete opposite of how Brooks felt. Des just got slapped in the face with the truth! Ok Ok I've come to terms that he is just not coming back and Chris is looking more and more like a perfect match for her.  Chris's feelings for Des never falter and he has always been able to communicate his feelings, something she's said she needed since day one.  Chris says he is more than comfortable with the up coming decision and is ready to meet her family. Crap! I forgot about her family, damn you Bachelor! You've got me all out of whack! They move the conversation to the bed and something tells me it's about to get more action than the fantasy suite.  Chris has a gift for her and it's a journal, no not Zaks with the sweet but strange dad to daughter message. This one has his very own message in it.  Des is crying again but this time it's happy tears because she is finally receiving love back, not just a one way street like in her past.

 

Back to Harrison and the live audience. Jackie, Leslie and Lindsey from Sean's season are there again,  These ladies must have nothing better to do since there is no Bachelor Pad this year.......oh and Sean and Catherine are there too to rub their happiness in their faces. Harrison asks the question we all want to know, when is the freaking wedding already? They apparently have a date set very soon but they aren't going to tell us, Bastards! Harrison asks Jackie about her thoughts when she was in Madeira with Des to meet the guys, she thought Brooks was the one.  Why Harrison?! Why keep bringing him up, why tease us asking if he's coming back. He's not, stop toying with us!  Besides Chris is looking more and more like a better match anyways.

 

Back to Des and Chris, he will be meeting her parents and brother today! Why have they been holding out on the brother teasers from us??  Her brother Nate asks Chris how he feels about her having a possible stronger connection with someone else.  He says in normal life, other guys may be pursuing her as well, you just don't see it. Next Nate asks about Drew with a big smirk on his face knowing good and well that he is no longer here. Chris replies he's a great guy, no way he's going to bash Drew. See Nate, THIS is what a decent guy is like, take some pointers. Chris sits down with her father and asks him for her hand in marriage. He of course says yes.  Chris leaves and Des talks with her brother privately, ewww he is just sooooo gross.  He asks if she loves Chris, she says "yes, in this moment" yikes. Nate isn't buying it either and calls her out for still having feelings for Brooks.  Does she really love Chris or is she just settling. Damn, Des and America are shocked that he's actually making sense.

 

Meanwhile, Chris is meeting with Neil Lane to pick out a ring! oh snap! it's happening!  Chris is also still talking about Drew being there and someone really needs to tell him.

 

Finally the day of the last rose ceremony/proposal.  Des is wearing a peach/pink strapless gown, it's beautiful but not my favorite color.  She says she needs to be completely honest with Chris and tell him exactly how hard she fell for Brooks. Chris' limo arrives and he looks like he's about to puke. He meets her at the platform and he immediately starts gushing about all their dates together, dancing in Munich, that deserted island in Maderia. Then he starts to get down on one knee, but Des stops him and he/we all assume it's for the worst. Chris looks crushed for a split second. But no she just wants to be honest with him, She tells him he is the only guy left, the only one who met her family, that she sent Drew home a couple days ago.  She also explains that she had such strong feelings for Brooks that it clouded her mind. She realized Chris had been her rock all along. And now I'm in tears. He's been the communicator she's been looking for.  Then he finally gets down on one knee and she says yes!! They look so happy and so cute together.

 

Ok My thoughts- I know I was team Brooks and I really wanted him to come back. One reason was because how would Chris (let's face it, Drew never stood a chance) feel after seeing all of it unfold on TV, there would be no way they would stay together. Remember Brad and Emily, after the show, Emily was so pissed and their relationship crumbled because she finally saw his relationship with the other women aka fantasy suites.  So I assumed Chris would be the same way if she settled for him.  But now I take that back, Chris had been her rock from the beginning, they always wrote poems back and forth, they built a stronger relationship than her and brooks ever did. I'm sure it hurt Chris to see it but I may be crazy for saying this but it might have made them stronger. I'm really rooting for these two and do think they are a perfect match.

 

AFTER THE FINAL ROSE- Harrison is right, it was a roller coaster of a season!  Des comes out and she's looking great in a sparkly, white, mini dress.  Harrison asks if she's happy and she says she had to go through the bad/heartbreak to see the good.  That Chris was always there for her no matter what. Harrison asks the hard question, is Chris a rebound? Des says no because she had always had feelings for Chris since the beginning, just took a little longer to flourish. 

 

Well Brooks is here! Let's bring him out!  and boy does he look good.! He got a haircut, I like his longer hair before but it looks great too a little shorter.  He comes out wearing a dark grey plaid suit and looks delicious. He looks very GQ. Des face says it at!  Of course that attraction is still there, but he broke her heart.  Brooks had not seen the finale so he doesn't know what happened after he left. Des says "After you left, it was actually really good" LOL she spills that she is now engaged to Chris.  Brooks says he's happy for them, that he could see their chemistry during group dates.  Ok enough with you Mr. Heartbreaker, Lets move on to Drew.  He comes out in a light blue/grey suit...at least it's not pink.  He says it's been 3 months but it's been a long road to recovery. Talking about his exit, he said he saw "breakup town" coming. yeah we all did buddy.   Harrison asks if he still loves Des. He says he has nothing but love for her but no, he's no longer in love with her.

 

Finally Chris comes out.  Harrison immediately asks the million dollar question, how does he feel about Brooks relationship after seeing it.  Chris says they have built something great since.  They haven't seen their proposal yet so they watch it again....but they don't show they whole thing, just after she stops him the first time from getting down on one knee.  Harrison asks what's next? Des says she is moving to Seattle this weekend!!  Chris just got a new job there so they are going to start fresh in a new place together.  So sweet. But this season isn't over yet folks! Not without one more last poem!  Chris busts out a framed poem and it has dried rose petals from all the roses he received from Des at the ceremonies. So freaking sweet! Brooks who?

 

And Last but Not Least the Next Bachelor is....................Juan Pablo!!!  And the Crowd. Goes. Wild. Thank God! I don't think I would have been able to watch had it been Zak or Drew. I think Juan Pablo will be just the thing we need to warm our cold and dreary hearts in January...........or should I say Juanuary. oh and he will be the first non-white Bachelor/Bachelorette on this show (excluding the 25 contestants of course) I wonder if somehow the Bachelor masterminds planned this to shut the media up about it? Anyways, what are we going to watch now on Mondays for the next 5 months???

The Bachelorette- Finale Part 1

Welcome to part 1 of the "SHOCKING CONCLUSION" of the Bachelorette! The most dramatic event of the summer....They say this every year and they have a lot of living up to do! Des is meeting her final 3 guys in beautiful Antigua this week. I've been to Antigua and it really is that gorgeous, of course, it's the Caribbean!! The first 30 mins is a recap of the season, yeah yeah yeah we know all the other guys she sent home, yes we remember Brian with the GF. Now she's talking about her 3 remaining guys. Chris- athletic, sweet, poetic. Drew- sweet, hot body, family man. Brooks- well he's in a league of his own. Finally, we get to the exotic dates.

 

Drew is up first. They hop in a Jeep, with Des finally letting the guys drive, to explore the island.  Drew drives a little ways then pulls over to kiss her. Ugh, his cheese is too much. It just seems so forced- See Des I like kissing you, I like kissing girls I promise. They stop at a party at what looks like a local bar/restaurant. There are drums and booze and dancing.  Then they bust out the Limbo pole! Oh snap it's getting crazy over here folks haha.  They sneak away for a picnic to soak up all that rum and talk about last weeks hometown date. Of course his family loved her! Duh he's bringing a girl home. That night, Des had a romantic dinner planned on the beach but a storm rained it out.  Drew makes use of the opportunity to kiss in the rain, he almost sucks her face off, his hands all in her hair (hey thanks b/c the humidity hasn't done enough) All the while she's still trying to hold an umbrella hahaha.  They make their way inside and Surprise! it's the Fantasy Suite! Dang Des must really wanna see that Ken doll body, too bad his package is probably the same as a Ken doll to...nada. Des officially gives him the Fantasy Suite card, he says yes, he really wants to wake up next to her and say good morning.  They sit indian style on the bed and make out, I don't know about you but I love to make out awkwardly sitting like that hahaha. Drew then tells the cameras it's time to get out! It goes dark and we hear lots of kissing and slurping, ewww.  I wonder how far they went? Especially if she loves Brooks so much.

 

Next we go to Brooks.........who is still in the US...in Idaho?!?! What?! Why?! He is still having doubts, ugh, and needs to talk to his mom and sister there.  I thought he did that at hometowns??  Anywho, he is not 100% in love with Des and the idea of proposing to her makes him uncomfortable.  His family says if he's having any doubts he doesn't need to do it, but he should definitely go and talk to her. I'm glad he is being honest and rational about proposing, I mean they've only known each other 6 weeks! But it's not looking good for Des.  He is going to Antigua to tell her how he feels.

 

Meanwhile, Chris is on his date with Des.  They take a helicopter to the nearby Island of Barbuda. What a gorgeous date!  Loooove the color of the water down there. They have a picnic on the secluded island, then get in the ocean. Did they wait the 30 mins before going in? I don't know but it doesn't matter because they spent the majority of the time rolling around in the sand making out while the waves crashed around them. Now THIS is chemistry and Drew doesn't stand a chance.  They spend the rest of the day intertwined, making out in the ocean. That night, no rain so they have dinner outside.  Things get serious when Chris talks about the future. He has a great job opportunity in Seattle and wonders if Des would be willing to relocate there.  She says she loves California but she can work anywhere. Chris loves that she's open and ready, his words not mine. The frogs or jungle crickets or whatever are so loud right now, shhhh I can't hear what they are saying. Des presents him with the Fantasy Suite Card.  Of course he accepts it.  He says he just wants it to be relaxed, no expectations, just watching the stars.  Their suite is an awesome indoor/outdoor space, plenty of places to "star gaze." First things first though, Chris has another poem for her, oh goody. Hey it's their thing and it's somewhat cute.  They make use of the hot tub and I don't know how they would not hook up tonight.

 

Brooks finally heads to Antigua, and Chris Harrison shows up at his room. Uh Oh! that's never a good sign!  Brooks tells Chris that he's not madly in love with Des yet, he wanted his feelings to be much further along than this. Harrison asks- So are you just not sure, or are you not in love with her?  Brooks pauses for a while, letting that question sink in, obviously he's not sure.  But he's not ready to propose so he's going to break it off with her. O.M.G!  I get that this is a serious matter, but they don't have to get married tomorrow! He can still be the one at the end but with no proposal just dating exclusively, that happens all the time on this show. But Brooks has made up his mind.  Des is getting ready for her date and is gushing about Brooks, awwwww she is going to be devastated!! Brooks walks up and Des immediately knows something is wrong, which makes Brooks feel worse because she can read him, they have that connection, then what are you doing dude?!?  They walk out on the pier and sit on a bench. What a beautiful place to get dumped : / He lists all the things that he loves about her but says when they are apart, he loses those feelings. He really, really wants to be madly in love with her but he's not. Ouch, Des can't even look at him. Des asks -Why now? Why not before? He says he didn't know, was still trying to figure it out. She pulls her knees up to her chest, buries her head and cries. Brooks tries to put his arm around her and she says stop it! she is pissed and hurt.  She finally confesses to Brooks that she was at the finish line, she loved him, that he was the one. Brooks looks shocked at this revelation, really?  He knew she was further along than him. Brooks looks so torn at this point. He asks why she didn't tell him before, she says because she COULDN'T!!  Des is like alright, I guess you got a plane to catch, lets go.  Des starts to walk him to the exit limo, I'm just waiting this whole time for Brooks to come to his senses. Brooks says something along the line of at least now she doesn't have to be conflicted in her decision....Brooks is just not getting it. She says the only reason she was conflicted was because she wanted to choose him all along, go on all the dates with him.  Des finally parts ways with him so she can officially bawl her eyes out in somewhat privacy. Brooks walks the rest of the way to the limo but stops every few feet to turn back, cry, and debate on going back. YES go back!  He's crying so hard but he's the one who wanted to break up, he can still fix it!  He says he doesn't want to leave and wasn't expecting to feel this way.  Des heads back to the pier to hang her feet off the edge and cry in her lap, good call, the cameras can't get all in her face, they have to stay back and shoot from behind (hahaha ok now is not the time for a dirty joke, gosh) Brooks finally makes himself get in the limo and he drives off.  Des says "It breaks my heart knowing that I have 2 amazing guys. Guys who want to and do love me. But I know I just can't love them as much, and that's not what they deserve. Honestly, for me, it over" and scene.

 

Holy Crap!!! ok Bachelor, you lived up to the hype, it was shocking and dramatic.  I shed a few tears for them, I feel soooo bad for Des, been there. What was Brooks thinking? I don't think you should force love but you can tell he has very, very strong feelings for her but just feels pressured to propose or leave.  I know this is a HUGE decision but I don't think he realized how much he loved her.  My guess is he goes back home and realizes he loved her all along, can't live without her and comes back.  Or maybe he realizes what Des just said, that she chooses him, he asks the limo to pull over, jumps up, and runs back to Des....to the "finish line" Or maybe I've watched too many RomCom's. 

 

What is she going to do now?  There is no way she can choose another guy now, not after they see this. Plus how is she going to have a devastating break up one week, then get engaged to your 2nd choice the next week. Brooks has to come back right? Or she ends up with no one at all. Please run back to the finish line Brooks, please!

 

 

 

Bachelorette Des- Men Tell All

Woohooo It's that time again, Men Tell All! Love these episodes, the Bachelorette gets to confront the guys after watching the show and seeing things she didn't get to see. And of course man on man drama.

 

But before we get to any of the good stuff, we have to watch Chris and Des crash some viewing parties.  I wonder if that's why the ratings are down, because huge gaggles of girls(and some men) get together to watch it on one TV. Or maybe Des just isn't entertaining for some. who knows. Next we see Des have some more girl time. Past Bachelorettes are there to give Des some advice on seeing the guys she sent packing.  Emily, Ali and Ashley are there and I love them all.  Emily says not to let them pull a fast one over on her like Kalon tried on her, before she went all West Virginia hood rat on him hehe. Oh sweet Emily. Ali asks if Ben was really that bad? Besides of course his exit limo rant- where the bitches at? Next they talk about Brian with the girlfriend, and the girls know exactly how she feels.  Ali had Justin aka Rated R the wrestler.  The girls joke that the Stephanie girl better not have gotten back with Brian's cheating ass, or they are going to throw rocks at her! lol (she apparently threw rocks at Brian during a past argument) Can we please see footage if that happens? I think the girls should be able to throw rocks at some of the guys, like James for example hehe. I think Ali would be first in line! She is fired up about how James treated Des, she says he tried to manipulate her into thinking his actions were ok, that it's ok to think about your next girlfriends. Ali is feisty! I miss her, forgot how much I liked her, I think I may like her better than Emily. I said Ashely was there too but she didn't say much which is unusual, she is the usually the hyper one running around. Maybe she was drunk and sleepy.

 

Finally the Men! The guys that were brave enough/haven't quite gotten their 15 mins of fame, showed up.

Robert-sign spinny guy that got no screen time, and again tonight no screen time

Dan- who? oh Jeff Probst look alike

Nick- Charlotte guy! maybe he will talk more! nope

Brad- DJ with the kid.....and possible restraining order from baby momma

Jonathan- Fantasy suite guy, enough said

Bryden- The Army was a breeze but the Bachelorette was too much for him....

Brandon- Mr. Emotional

Will- The token black guy.  Dang I forgot about most of these men, and they don't help their case much by not talking tonight either

Zack K-again who? I need to go back and read my notes.

James- BOOOOOOO!! the whole audience booos him hahaha

Ben- also gets boooed but not quite as loud.

Mikey T- the other meathead, he actually gets some applause here, really ladies?

Juan Pablo- Holy Estrogen Batman! The audience went nuts when they called his name! Hot flashes all around

Kasey- no one is paying attention at the moment, still screaming for J Pablo

Michael- ugh the federal instigator

and Zak W- recent reject.  Just when I thought he couldn't get any more spray tanned, he looks like an oompa loompa here, yikes.

So the no shows tonight are Brain with the GF (Boooo), Failed dip doctor Larry and Diogo the knight in armor. No wait, cut to outside, he is trying to get into the building but can't get through the metal detectors. really? Are we really supposed to believe it is Diogo Why doesn't he just take it off? Oh right because it isn't him. I bet wasn't even his suit to begin with, the producers must just have that suit of armor laying around??

 

Chris asks Jonathan if he regretted the fantasy suite idea, of course he does.  He says it was a last minute joke gone horribly horribly wrong, and he got drunker and drunker as the night went on.  He apologizes profusely and genuinely looks mortified from his actions.  Can't hate the guy, there's always someone who accidentally gets wasted on all the free booze.

 

Chris asks Juan Pablo what he thought of all the drama. He said he's been on plenty of soccer teams with men but never seen this kind of drama. Well yes, but hopefully your whole team isn't dating the same girl. He also says Ben walked in the door on the first night saying he wasn't there to make friends, I can see how that was a slap in the face to the guys, Ben didn't even try to like any of them.

 

First in the Hot seat is Brian- or not.  Harrison says they reached out to him and he declined....so they are going to talk about him anyways! WooHooo. Love Harrison. They call him a coward, Brandon says no man should ever treat a woman like that.....and he also points to Ben who is sitting in front of him and doesn't see him pointing at him, so brave Brandon.

 

Ben is the first official first one in the hot seat.  He tries to explain that his limo exit was not like him, that he had just had a horrible date and been dumped so he acted like a jack ass. Dan Probst speaks for the first time and boy is it good! He says he met up with Ben's baby momma in Vegas and she spilled some nasty details about him.  Apparently she said Ben was not a good father and actually cheated on a current girlfriend when he got her pregnant. Damn!  I guess no one told Dan that what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas, you know he tapped that.  Ben still denies everything and says he has a great relationship with his ex. Yeah ok, right.

 

Next is James' turn, he tries to still defend himself saying Mikey started the infamous Bachelor convo and thinks some of the guys owe him an apology for ruining his shot with Des, hahaha yeah okay James. Of course none of the guys do, Mikey is there finally to tell his side of the story but somehow he just can't remember who actually started that topic, yeah uhh huuh.  Mikey says it's ok to have a plan B and Kasey calls BS and asks if on their wedding day he is going to be thinking of his next wife. That's a little dramatic but the audience loves it! Mikey is pissed and gets in Kasey's face, again showing what a meathead his is. Kacey remains seated and tries to finish his sentence, James is just eating this stuff up still sitting over with Harrison in the hotseat.  Mikey is mad because his face is all over the tabloids from this whole overheard conversation he supposedly had, and Kasey rightly points out that James was the one who threw him under the bus and said he was the one who started it.  They all argue back and forth and Juan Pablo, the voice of reason this episode said look "I like James, but I have a sister and a daughter and would never let them date him" hahaha he goes on to say "Maybe if he became a good James, but not now" hahaha.  Juan Pablo is not just great to look at, he also may be the smartest one here, aside from Harrison of course. Speaking of, Harrison asks the audience if they want James as the next bachelor? The whole room shouts NOOOOOOOOO, hahaha thats gotta burn.

 

Juan Pablo- Talk about getting the Bachelor edit!! The audience goes nuts everytime he opened his mouth.  Harrison says that in the history of the show, no one has made a bigger impact with so little screen time as Juan Pablo.  I always thought he was really, really good looking- DUH, but tonight we got to actually see some personality! He is funny, endearing, and don't let his broken english fool you, he's no dummy. Did I mention he was sexy?? just a lil bit. He says he is looking for a wife and mother to his daughter Camilla who he spends every weekend with so it's tough on his dating life.  He said he let Camilla watch the season premiere this year since there was no kissing yet (Awww) and that Camilla made fun of how Des pronounced his name Wan Paaahbloo. Too cute. I'm just waiting for airborne panties from the audience to smack JPab in the face any second.  OH! and remember the Mr America pageant they did and for some ungodly reason they didn't show him in his speedo? Well they finally did tonight.....and well thank you.  I would be perfectly happy seeing that man candy on my tv next January when it's cold and dreary. JPab for Bachelor!! 

 

Last is recent reject Zak.  He talks about his shirtless limo arrival and how he is basically a wild, spontaneous ball of energy and he came out with his crazy guns blazing to see if Des could keep up. Well I guess it worked because he made it waaaaay further than I ever thought, I didn't think he would even make it past night one.  He is the equivalent of Lindsey from Sean's season, she came out of the limo in a freaking wedding dress, got shitfaced that first night but made it to the final 2. ok back to Zak, he says he works on the oil rigger for 6 months out of the year so it's really hard to meet women.......so those other 6 months?  I bet it's even harder to meet women in a sno cone truck dressed as a penguin....I think he might have a better shot on the oil rigger.  Harrison has the journal Zak gave Des (I guess she gave it back with the ring? ouch) but what Des didn't know is there was a hidden message in the back, Zak wrote a poem in blacklight ink...........you know what else glows in blacklights?!?! Ewwwww. But wait, so Zak gave her this journal waay back in episode 2 or 3, did it have the poem in it then??? because it talks about how much he loves her and at that point he hadn't even had a date with her yet. I guess he always did come on a little strong.

 

Finally Des comes out to take her turn in the hot seat and see these guys for the first time since sending them home.  She goes straight for Jonathan and is about to rip him a new one when she realizes he is completely embarrassed and trying to apologize. Apparently Des didn't get to hear anything backstage.  She accepts his apology and moves on to Ben.  She is pissed about his limo exit, she said he wasted no time talking about Hollywood and hooking up with girls.  She said it just proved he wasn't there for the right reasons and she made the right decision.  She saves the biggest douche for last. She embraces her inner Ali and says James did manipulate her, he made her feel bad for trusting the other guys.....who were right!  He's just not getting it though, he's acting like the victim.  Des finally just gives up with an "Ugh" there's no getting through that thick meathead skull. Moving on, Harrison asks her why she sent JPab home so soon. There's too much screaming and woooing from the audience that I don't catch her answer, but I assume it's because she's in love with Brooks.  She should have at least taken him to the fantasy suites, he's soooo much better looking than Drew. Next is Zak, she says she felt like he was always hiding behind his smile, that it's basically ok to have a bad day once in a while. Or in other words, he never stood a chance up against Brooks or even Chris.  But Wait, Zak has not quite sung enough on this show so he busts out his guitar and I leave the room. I thought him getting the boot last week, that I wouldn't have to suffer through any more songs.  And I'm surprised Michael didn't accuse him of being there to promote a singing career.

 

Finally the Blooper Reel! There are falling lights, falling people, Des attempting to go into a porta-potty but getting the heebeegeebee's, JPab trying to say yodeler and Harrison trying unsuccessfully to pronounce their hotel in Germany "how about next time we stay at a Marriott?" hehehe.

 

Well that's it, they show us more teasers of Des crying saying she wants to go home, nothing new, the same previews they've shown all season, so why did the audience look like they just showed them puppies being slaughtered?? I mean the faces on these women looked horrified and shocked, did they see something that we didn't? Another shot of James in that bubble bath??? who knows.

 

Ok so we can all agree that Drew is the next to go home right? He just doesn't stand a chance.  Can Chris beat Brooks at this point? and even if he did, would he still want Des after seeing her falling all over Brooks all season? Talk about second choice.  Either she ends up with Brooks or Brooks doesn't share her same feelings and she ended up with no one.....my bet is on the former.

Bachelorette Des- Hometowns

This week things get more serious, each of the guys takes Des home to meet their family.  These episodes are usually entertaining and full of cringe worthy moments, with at least one hometown dates being a complete disaster. Des knows all about this, just ask her brother Nate. Okay, let the hometowns begin-

 

Zak Waddell 31- Dallas, Texas. Zak says he has a crazy family. That makes me nervous coming from the guy who came out of the limo shirtless and jumped in the pool on the first night.   Zak rambles about some dream he had, sun, them melting in the sand, now it's snowing and there kids? Des, along with all of America, is completely confused?? He gets up and takes off, hurdling over a fence. Great, he has another surprise, I hope he keeps his clothes on this time. Turns out, Zak's family owns a sno-cone business! Man, Zak really needs to work on his story telling skills, that was the best introduction he could think of? Yeah so his family owns a sno-cone truck......just a like an icecream truck but less creepy. No wait, now Zak comes out in a penguin costume, and they stop at a school to give out free sno cones. Not creepy at all right? Des tells the kids that the penguin is her boyfriend, and kisses him on his furry cheek. I can't make this shit up! I didn't know Des was into that sort of thing, lol. The kids are rightfully disgusted and take off with their free flavored ice.  Zak then takes Des to meet his family. Holy Crap they are all great looking! Hmmm great genes. I would consider Zak the ugly one in the family, his face is just weird to me. Des tells the story of Zak's shirtless arrival and his family is mortified. His cutie brother says "Oh you were that guy?" and his beautiful sister calls him a weirdo. I love this family!!! Until they start singing a song Zak wrote for Des, ugh. It's a nice song but it just makes me uncomfortable.  At the end of the day, Zak walks Des outside, tells her me loves her and he gives her a promise ring he bought in Atlantic City he said, and has been holding on to it ever since, waiting on the right moment.  Sorry Zak, this was a sweet gesture but you or Drew is going home tonight, and Drew has his sister which I think will pull at Des' heartstrings more than this ring, just saying.

 

 

Drew Kenney 27 -Scottsdale, Arizona.  Drew comes out looking more feminine than ever, light pink shirt and khakis. He is just too pretty, I could never be with a guy that was maybe prettier than me haha. Looks like Des might be someone's beard.  Drew talks about seeing as how his parents are divorced, his Dad has never been in his Moms house. Perfect time to do this, on national television meeting your sons "girlfriend" for the first time, there shouldn't be any tension at all.  First, Drew takes Des to pick up his sister, who is severely mentally handicapped, from her caregiver.  She is so excited to see Drew, it is really sweet.  Then they head to his family's house to meet everyone else.  Drew says he is going to tell Des that he loves her, he is also going to tell his family that she is the one he is going to spend the rest of his life with, um no, No you're not Drew.  His dad toasts to a great evening and I hope that is ginger ale in his glass, since he is a recovering alcoholic. Drew talks about the first night, he was the first out of the limo and forgot to tell Des his name, how mortifying right Zak? Des sits down with his dad and he asks her what she likes about Drew, His eyes she says. Deep. Drew is talking with his Mom and it's pretty emotional. They are excited that he may have found the one, poor guy. That night, Drew walks Des out and he flat out tells her (in an almost baby voice,eww) that he loves her.  She looks happy though.  Okay, I've liked Drew since the beginning, I thought he was really good looking, but the more he's falling in love, the more sensitive and feminine he gets to me, I dunno, he basically gets gayer and gayer each week to the point He may be the one in the dress at the end. I kid I kid, but I seriously question if Des is his "type".

 

Chris Siegfried- McMinnville, Oregon. Chris used to be a professional baseball player so he took Des to the field he grew up playing on.  Chris is impressed by Des' baseball skills, she can actually throw and catch. She tells Chris "you're a catch" pun intended. Cute. Des has a gift for Chris, sketches of their times together, Burn Zak. See, he doesn't stand a chance, when she uses your gift idea on another dudes date.  She drew a picture of the first night, he was the one who came out of the limo, got down on one knee.....and tied his shoe.  These two are very arts and crafty, cute match.  Chris takes Drew to meet his family.  At dinner, Chris points out that Des slipped on a rock in the ocean and hurt her back, why did we not get to see this Bachelor producers???  I'm assuming it happened last episode when they were throwing that bottle out into ocean/crashed on rocks.  Anywho, Chris's dad is a chiropractor and wants to align Des' back.  To make things even more convenient, His dad has his whole practice down stairs.   It's a little awkward but nothing compared to some hometowns (hello taxidermy).  They go into exam room 2 (sorry stupid shit i notice) and he starts popping and cracking her neck and back, awww man I bet that felt good. I'm actually jealous.  Des is appreciative but just wants to talk to him about his son. Next Chris goes down stairs, I thought to save Des, but instead it's his turn for an alignment......a nose alignment. Yep you heard that right. His father sticks some instrument up each nostril and adjusts? Hey he's the professional.  All the while having a heartfelt convo about Des, hahahah whatever works. Chris is nervous about his mothers opinion of Des and really wants her approval. The whole family talks about Chris's ex girlfriend and how much they didn't like her. Man she must have really been a bitch, I don't think Des has to worry. Good News! His mom really likes Des and can see her in the family. Chris is ecstatic and him and Des makeout in the driveway. (The previews for this hometown showed Des hanging upside in Chris's dads office and him tucking her shirt into the back of her pants......they did not show this)

 

 

Brooks Forester 28- Salt Lake City, Utah.  They meet in a park and Des can't keep her lips off him, Her love for him is so obvious.  She gives him a paper rose, he unfolds it and it lists all their memories together so far, the Hollywood sign, his broken finger (lol) and the clouds. It is really sweet.  They get in a canoe and paddle around the pond, they almost flip over a couple times. These two are so endearing together.  He takes her to meet his family and man is it a huge family! 9 siblings!!! and their significant others! They all wear name tags which is hilarious and thoughtful.  They walk in the door and his brothers basically push Brooks out of the way and group hugged Des lol.  They made her feel right at home immediate.  I bet this family is a ton of fun. Sidenote- Brooks is apparently the mormon Michael was referring to while arguing with Ben.  I don't think he is a devout Mormon anymore but he still has strong christian values, as well as Des.  Back to hometowns, Brooks is getting advice from all his married siblings and he seems to really be taking this seriously. His mom sits down with Des and she loves her! After getting his families approval, Brooks says he is more optimistic and can actually see marriage in the future.

 

Back in LA, Des sits down with.......Her Brother!  He is still cocky, and rude, and boy are these two complete opposites.  I know they grew up poor, but dang her brother just comes off as trailer trash, look at those hand and neck tattoos. Glad Des turned out with some class, not sure what happened with her brother.  Apparently they haven't spoken since he ruined her hometown date with Sean last season! (Sean meet her family and he called Sean a playboy and was just a flat out ass to him). Des is still pissed at him for that, the brother did have a point though....Sean wasn't the one for Des, but you don't need to be a jerk about it.  Des lists her 4 guys and their qualities.  So is he going to meet them? no? Then what was the whole point in this?

 

Rose Ceremony- Des sits down with Chris Harrison.  She is still in love with Brooks and Harrison asks if he's said the big L word yet? nope! But Des is confident in his feelings, he doesn't have to say it to show it.  She is still also falling for Chris too, especially after meeting his family.  Drew and Zak have also told her they love her, everyone except Brooks.  Chris Harrison walks each of the guys through the lobby of the Beverly Hilton to the ceremony while Des' brother stood behind a pillar giving them the stank eye.  Brook and Chris both get roses and of course it's down to Drew and Zak, big shocker right?  She gives the last rose to Drew, how could she not have after his hometown date with his sister? She would come off a a complete bitch.  Sorry Zak, grab your shirt and go.  Did he ever stand a chance up against Brooks and even Chris?  Des gives Zak his promise ring back and he gets in the limo.  Zak says he is numb and completely shocked, gonna take a while to sink in.  He doesn't cry much, in fact he comes off as a complete gentleman, next Bachelor? I hope not, I can't look at that face all season, ugh I don't know if Drew would be any better.  Zak also tosses the promise ring out the window, he must have gotten it cheap on the boardwalk in Atlantic city.

 

Next Week is Men Tell All!!!  I heard Brian, with the girlfriend, doesn't show up. Oh well, we still have- douche bags Mikey and James, Michael the Defender,  Bryden who left, fantasy suite fail Jonathan, BooHoo Brandon, and not so villainous Ben.  The finale previews show an island (Antigua) a voice over which sounds like Brooks saying he's falling in love with her. Then a ton of tears and Des says she just wants to go home! Nooooo I really hope this is editing (like with the huge fist fight that never happened between the guys) I really hope Brooks doesn't chicken out and leave!  I like Chris too but how can that relationship work after he sees this and how much she loves Brooks.

Bachelorette Des- Episode 7

This week, Des and the 5 remaining guys are in Madeira, Portugal, an island off the coast of northern Africa, near the Canary Islands. Watch out for pirates! or is that southern Africa? who knows. Previews show lots of ocean and boats, fireworks, and lots of nerves. Looks like all the guys get some substantial 1 on 1 time. Drew says this city was built for love.....5 minutes ago he didn't even know this place existed.

 

Des has some friends over to chat about the guys, it's fellow contestants from Sean's season- Jackie (quiet redhead), Lesley (smart blonde from DC) and Catherine (Sean's final choice).  Dang what a great place to meet up for a girls gossip session!!!  Lesley says she just realized this was the week Sean sent her home....speaking of- "How are you and Sean" Des asks Catherine.  They are great, each others best friends. Well good, I want them to work out. Catherine says Sean is rooting for her, this had got to be somewhat awkward no? My fiancé dumped you Lesley this week and he's rooting for the girl he dumped at hometowns,yes you Des, to find love here. Weird.  Des starts to talk about each of her remaining guys-

Chris-supportive, even without speaking

Brooks-positive, adventurous, fun, but is he ready to settle down?

Mike-Fed Prosecutor, smart, genuine.

Zak- adventurous, energetic, reflective (huh?)

Drew- sweet but is there spice?

Des admits she's falling for more than 1 guy.

 

They are all sitting on a balcony overlooking the resorts pool and of course here come the guys to conveniently hang out at the pool below.  The girls squeal from excitement, they want to check out these guys that Des has kept. Where did the binoculars come from lol? The girls take turns looking through them to get a better view. Catherine says "I don't know how to work these, I'm not a creeper" hahahaha funny. The guys can obviously see them, and the hooting and hollering was a dead giveaway. The guys have got to feel on display at this point. Jackie thinks Drew is hot, that's about all she said the whole time. no wonder she never got any screen time last season. The girls turn back around to talk about the guys more now that they have a face/body to the name. 

Who is the best kisser? Des says Drew! I guess that alley kiss knocked Brooks from the top spot.

Most Successful? Michael

Most Athletic? Chris, Des thought he was sexy on the soccer field!

Best Body? Drew

Best Eyes? Brooks

Most Adventurous? Zak

And biggest *bleep*.....I'm assuming Catherine said penis....she doesn't seem like a dick kind of girl. Des says she has no idea but guesses Chris does! She turns beet red hahaha. So Miss "I'm going to wait till marriage to sleep with Sean" must think Des is a slut haha.

 

The girls leave and it's time for Brooks 1 on 1 date. He hasn't had 1 on1 date since the very first date weeks ago! That seems so long ago. Des picks Brooks up in a tiny car, a Fiat? Anyways, they drive up the hills of the island, stop on the side of the road to look out at the scenery. They are standing WAAAAY too close to the edge of the cliff but it is beautiful!  Reminds me of Maui, Hawaii.  Of course it has lots of beaches but it also has a volcano that you can drive to above the clouds. Okay back to Madeira, They drive up the mountain some more, and they stop to have a picnic, again breathtaking literally....they are on a cliff platform on top of the clouds, looks like they are floating, I just envision plummeting to my death.  Des says "Welcome to cloud 9!" cute. They keep talking back and forth about wanting to fall in love, not sure they are quiet there yet. Brooks says at least he knows they both want to fall in love.....well Duh!  Later that night they have dinner overlooking the little city.  Brooks is nervous about taking Des home to meet his family, the few girls he has brought home, his parents loved them and became attached. So the breakups are hard on the whole family. Awww. They come up with a love scale- On a scale of walking to running how much are they in love?.. 1-stepping, 2-skipping, 3-jogging, 4-running and 5-the finish line-being in love.  It's silly and cute, like most couples have cute little things they do that everyone else probably thinks is weird. Des says she is starting to run while Brooks is still jogging. Brooks sees that they are not quiet on the same page but he hopes to catch up and wants her to meet his family. They makeout and Fireworks go off right above them. He will definitely be getting a rose later. (Fun Fact! -Madeira holds the Guinness World Record for largest fireworks.....I can believe it, they looked awesome)

 

 

Chris gets the next 1 on 1 date.  He already knows he wants to take her home to his folks, so there is no question there.  They spend a day on a yacht sailing around the Atlantic.  Chris is just happy no one can crash his date like Bryden did!  I can see Bryden swimming around the boat now with one of those fake shark fins hahaha and where would you get one of those anyways? hahaha. Back to "reality", Chris rubs sunscreen all over Des and she says they definitely don't lack in the sexual chemistry dept. Watch out Brooks! They have a picnic on one of the surrounding deserted islands. Waves crash on the rocks by them while they sip champagne.  Chris has an idea to make a message in a bottle, I'm assuming from one of the bottles they drank?  They write a poem together, very cheesy but hey it's their thing...like Brooks and the running in love scale. They put the message in the bottle and throw it out to sea........and it immediately slams into the jagged rocks there. Nah I dunno, but how could it not?  Later that night they have dinner in a wine tavern (loving all these wine cellar places this season!!)  They talk about wanting about 3 kids, wants them to have siblings to play with. Chris wants to drop the L-bomb on Des but he starts to sweat, turn red and almost kick over a side table and it's really endearing. He has another poem, oh great more rhyming and shit. He finally says I love you and it's really sweet, Des loves it.

 

Michael finally gets a 1 on 1 date, it's a little late in the game to have not been on a date yet, I don't think they have even kissed!  Chris and Brooks had their second 1 on 1 dates with her and look how much farther they are, falling in love and whatnot.  Drew and Zak's names weren't on the date card so that means they get stuck with the 2 on 1 date, yuck!  Back to Michael, I think the reason Des has kept him around is because of his job title, did you know he was a federal prosecutor? lol. They walk around the city, shop, try new foods. Michael has a stronger lisp here, what is going on? See that's what happens when you don't really date someone, they have a lisp and you don't even know it, maybe because all he's done is yell all season? They stop to have a picnic at a really cool pond area, it has stone patios and archways, even a waterfall. Man I have got to look more into this place! Afterwards they decide they want to die or something b/c they go street sledding. This does not look safe, the only thing to stop on coming traffic is a stop sign, one bus driver not pay attention and you are road splatter, no thanks, Michael you go ahead. Later at Dinner, he tells her how great of a time he had today, it was a blast, Des is just like awww thanks hahahaha. No "me too" or anything, red flag buddy you are going home. He talks about his diabetes, the 700 cases he has won, and how he doesn't want to be the "worlds best prosecutor" he wants it to say dad or husband. He found out he was being cheated on from Facebook pics, Snooze, I'm not feeling it and Des isn't either.  I think his case is about to be closed.

 

2 on 1 date, Drew and Zak get this date, there is a rose to be given out but no one is going home on this date.  Des picked these 2 for this date because they just had dates in Barcelona.  But Des also wants to see if Drew can let loose and if Zak can compete for her attention. The previews from last week make it look like Drew wants to leave....we will see. The date is go-karting, They go around the track a couple times, then Des says "How about you two go at it and not let me get in the way" hahahahaha that's what she said, literally hahahaha. The guys "go at it" aka race and Zak wins, by a long shot.  He gets alone time first, He shows her some "art" he did of their journey together.  First picture is a drawing of abs..........b/c he was shirtless the first night lest we forget. Next is a colorful drawing of Madeira's landscape, not bad. Last is a drawing of the mountain tops of Germany, where he shared the priest story.  Cute idea, Drew what you got? Drew really wants Des to come home and meet his sister who is mentally handicapped, and that he is falling in love with her. He also says he's never had these feelings before......what? you've never been in love?? Red Flag, Red Flag.  I think Drew is in way over his head, she just doesn't have as strong feels for him as she does Chris and Brooks.  But how can she not give him the rose after all that and the sister card. Of course he gets the rose, Zak looks crushed, but hey at least your not going home..........yet. So no Drew drama, either that was careful editing or Drew doesn't threaten to leave just yet.

 

Rose Ceremony- Des is wearing a beautiful backless teal gown and sits down with Chris Harrison to talk first. Des thinks Drew is the hottest but she has fallen in love with Brooks! oh snap she said it! of course Brooks doesn't hear it and Chris also points out Brooks has yet to say it to her.  Oh Harrison, the voice of reason. So Harrison asks, so is it over, have you found the one? Des says no because she is also falling for Chris too, who HAS said I love you.  She admits to falling for 2 people "Welcome to the Bachelorette" she says hahaha at least she knows this isn't normal.  Ok so Drew already has a rose and we know Chris and Brooks are staying. It's down to Zak or Michael and I don't care either way, neither stand a chance.  Zak gets the final rose and Michael's case is dismissed.  In the exit limo Michael calls his Mom, wait where did he get the cell phone?  Did they give him his phone back that fast? Guess who he calls, yep his Mommy, it all makes since now, the drama, the lisp, he's a huge momma's boy.  I don't recall anyone calling and crying to their mommy as soon as they were eliminated. 

 

Next week- Hometown dates!!!! Woohooo! and Des' asshole brother is back! and is shown giving the stank eye to Brooks at the rose ceremony, oh hell no!!

So who is Des going to choose? Does Brooks have this in the bag or does he get cold feet? If she chooses Chris, he has got to be bummed about her stronger feelings for Brooks at this point. And who goes home first next week, Drew or Zak?............My bet is Zak.

Bachelorette Des- Episode 6

Barcelona, Spain! Previews show dates with Drew and Zak, and lots of drama with James. Finally some real drama, unlike Ben. The guys are sitting at an L shaped table at some outside cafe, Chris Harrison comes out in a jacket and tee. He tells the guys that there will be no cocktail party this week so they need to use their time wisely....ie-don't spend it talking about the other guys.

 

1st date- Drew! Finally some Drew time! He's been one of my front runners since the beginning, Cutie.  He's the one who overheard James talking about being the next bachelor, but Drew says he's not going to bring it up yet, going to enjoy the date with Des and focus on her. good!  He kisses her right of the bat! Talk about an ice breaker! I think it was a good move, he is much further behind than some of the other guys. They walk around Barcelona sightseeing, it starts to rain so they stop for some coffee. Des pulls the "Is there anything on my face?" joke, Drew sucks it off her face, see icebreaker worked lol. They stop for tapas and wine. There, Drew opens up about his father.  He is a recovering alcoholic....and he has cancer, which no one in his office knows, thanks son. Something tells me they do now. At dinner that night, Drew grabs Des and says lets go! They take off, the camera is still just sitting there filming an empty table! Hey Cameraman, grab the camera a follow them!  They catch up with them and they are having a full on makeout session outside the building against the wall. Reminds me of Emily and Arie's wall kiss too lol. If she had friend zone doubts before, it's all out the window now! Of course he gets the date rose, I didn't see Des grab it on the run but I guess a producers handed it to her, or she pulled it out of her ass, either one. But wait, now that he has secured the rose, he's going to bring up James. No!! Your date was going so well, don't ruin it!  He tells her what he heard in the van, that James wants to be in the top 4 so his chances of being the next bachelor are higher. Des is pissed.

 

Group Date- Chris, Kasey, Brooks, Michael, James and Juan Pablo. Zak's name was not on the date card so he gets the other 1 on 1 date.  Bummed Juan Pablo didn't get the 1 on 1 time, he's barely had anytime with her, oh well, there are soccer balls on the date card, so something tells me he will be just fine. Drew tells Kasey and Michael what he told Des last night, so Kasey is also going to explain what he heard.  Des says James is a situation but she's not going to jump to conclusions and wants to talk to him first. No James, she said A situation, not THE situation, ugh. But that has to wait, the guys are going to be playing soccer! excuse me, futbol. They will be competing against professional female players and Des, the guys do not look scared but I think maybe they should be. Brooks is funny here (he's been really funny lately, if it doesn't work out with Des, HE would make an entertaining, witty Bachelor) Brooks says- "Juan Pablo's name means-you have no chance, and I'm going out with Des at this moment on the soccer field" and "listen girl scouts, we're about to bake some cookies" . Of course Juan Pablo is great a futbol, as he scores the first 2 goals against the girls but it's all down hill after that. The girls score goal after goal after goal. It doesn't help that James is a terrible goalie. Hey douche, you need to move to try to stop the ball not just stand there and half ass extend your arm, you missed it. The girls won 10-2 hahahaha.  Later that night, Des pulls Chris away for some time. She tells him that he looked good and athletic on the field today, he could probably do anything she threw at him....that's what she said hehehe. They are super cute together. Des also wrote him a poem, whaaaat!? She's got some major feels for him. Next is Brooks and he tells Des that he is becoming emotionally involved now. They makeout. Chris and Brooks-Top 2 folks.

 

Finally the James drama!- Meanwhile Kacey sits James down to talk like adults, Chris and Michael are also there.  Kacey explains what he heard that night in the van. James looks so dumb founded right now, priceless. He rambles something then starts to yell at Michael, He says "YOU have never been on a 1 on 1", what does that have to do with anything?? James and Michael start yelling back and forth while Kasey and Chris are still just sitting there calmly.  Michael says James seems like he's auditioning for the Jersey Shore hahahaha, that's what I've been saying since day 1. Chris actually tries to shhhhh them but then James turns back to Kasey still yelling, in fact he gets up now and starts pointing his finger in his face. Kasey is still even tempered. James denies everything and tries to blame it on Mikey who left last week, says they are two different ppl, really? Guess it was so hard for me to tell the first couple episodes. Kasey is like um no YOU brought up the bachelor, not Mikey. You. Pause, James has to think of a comeback:dumbface.  He finally says "So what you just know everything I said now"  Ummm yeah because I HEARD you, ya know ears and stuff.  James says ok we will see on the cameras at the tell all show. Man he's a fan of this show huh? The guys are like, um yeah you had this discussion at the time you knew no cameras or mics were on, and we were asleep. So no there won't be footage. James just goes hulk and says fuck you, and fuck you, and fuck you to each of the guys. Chris throws his hands up like hey I'm just sitting here. Kasey has had enough, it's just not getting through James thick skull, so he walks away to speak with Des. He explains everything to Des and it all checks out with Drew's story earlier.  Des is pissed, she cancels the date, no date rose tonight! All the guys leave, except James who she asks to stay behind. Get em' Des!! She is about to go all West Virginia hoodrat on him(Emily's season) lol.  James of course denies everything, it was all Mikey because he didn't have a 1 on 1 date, again what's with this 1 on 1 excuse?? He pulls a Tierra and says the guys are jealous of him and ganging up on him and this show is so hard for him, oh booo hoooo! Oh no, now he says he has a headache, ouch he has to think. Now he is crying! Trying to get the pity rose. His roided out neck is all wet from man tears. Ugh now Des is crying too! No Des! Don't cry for him. Des has to take a breather and walks away to gather her thoughts. Send him home Des! But alas, she needs to sleep on it. Ok fine, make him sweat. He goes back to the guys suite, walks in, all the guys are sitting there, he says "Goodnight gentleman" and goes to bed. The guys just shake their heads in disgust.

 

1 on 1 date- Zak gets the lovely spot of the morning after date. Zak is a nice guy and all but I just don't like him, I don't like his face. He is tooo tan and his teeth are tooooo white. And he has the crazy eye. Wait, and he's taller than Des even with heels on? I thought he was shorter for some reason. For their date they are going to an art studio. They do a couple of drawings of each other and Zak's is pretty terrible, Des falls on the floor from laughing so hard at it. Next a male model walks in in a robe and we all know where this is headed. He disrobes and Zak looks so awkward.  They draw portraits of the nude model but we don't get to see their "art". Afterwards, Zak excuses himself, he comes back in a robe. This is Zak, the same guy that arrived the first night shirtless.....and who also considered becoming a priest in the past.  So he disrobes in the front of Des and luckily he has on bottoms.......tighty whities. I'm assuming those are his everyday undies, unless he stole them from Brandon during the Solja Boy video a few episodes back.  Zak's moto must be "When in doubt, go shirtless"  He puts his clothes back on and they head to dinner, which is a restaurant in a cave. Pretty cool actually, and it's a wine cellar! Sold. Des says she loves his infectious eyes....I call them crazy eyes but to each her own. Zak's parents have been married forever and wants that, he also loves to travel. They makeout and he gets the Rose.  I dunno, Zak bores me. Des likes him but he won't be in the finale.

 

Back at the guys suite, James sits down with Drew to talk. It starts out civil. Drew says he heard James say Top 4=Bachelor. There's that dumb face again James makes while he's trying to think of an excuse. Of course he gets defensive and starts yelling, that didn't take long. Drew starts to get heated, raises his voice at best but that's like an angry bunny. James tries to turn the tables and tells Drew to stop yelling, hahahaha what? Ok James you are unreasonable. Drew asks James why he is not 100% focused on Des.......blank dumbface again. Drew-1 James-0

 

Ok day of the Rose Ceremony- All the guys are gathered in the living room, there are already 3 dudes on the couch, Juan Pablo, Michael and Brooks. James walks in (crickets) and sits right in between Michael and Juan Pablo hahahah like literally squeezes in, almost on their laps. Awkward Sauce. Michael is about to have a conniption fit. Great TV people. Des walks in and asks to see James outside. yes! hit the road jack! All the guys are pumped figuring he is a goner too. but wait, Des is falling for his lies! Running of the bulls in Spain? Nope that's BS Des is smelling. C'mon Des you're a smart girl! Now he's kissing all over her, ugh. And sweating so hard his man boobs are all wet, really Des????? What do you see? He's safe for the moment and he heads back to the guys suite. Oh boy, shit is gonna hit the fan!! Surprisingly the person most upset is Chris who has pretty much stayed out of all the drama.  He says "I'm am 100% not thinking about becoming the Bachelor, ever. Just because you are here does not mean you become the Bachelor" Now it's back to James yelling at Kasey, James-Why can't I think about my future with other girls. Kasey- So when you are dating a girl, you fantasize about your next girlfriend and life without her?? You just got served James.

 

That night at the Rose Ceremony (the cocktail party was cancelled again) Des is wearing a little black dress, with lace sleeves, cute and simple. Chris Harrison informs us that 3 guys will be going home! 3! that's a lot. James has GOT to be one of those 3. Drew and Zak already have roses so they are safe. First rose- Chris! 2nd, Brooks! and the final rose goes to...................Michael! eh. at least it wasn't James. Kacey and Juan Pablo are out too, I'm not terribly surprised Kacey got the boot considering his 1 on 1 was a disaster a couple weeks ago (windstorm swimming). But Juan Pablo? She should have kept him instead of Michael and all his drama. Did I think he had a shot in hell with Des? No but I figured she's at least give him a date first....or even a fantasy suite lol. On his way out, Juan P just says he wishes he could find a wife and mother to his daughter. sigh.

 

My Top Picks- Brooks and Chris final 2, Drew and Zak final 4.

 

Next week we are headed to Madeira, an island off Portugal....near the Canary Islands. Finally tropical setting!! Chris and Michael get 1 on 1 dates? Does Drew leave?? Something happens with Drew, noooooo. They also teased later episodes.....Brooks crying, Chris in a tux(final 2!) and Des says she's not sure about this anymore! Of course editing makes it look more dramatic than it really is but I'm still excited/nervous!

 

Talk to you next week!

Bachelorette Des- Episode 5

Welcome to Week 5! We are in Munich, Germany.  This is Des' first time to Europe. My husband and I recently traveled to Europe and it was my first time. So beautiful and so much history over there, so I can relate to Des. This week is a 1 on 1 date, group date and the horrible 2 on 1 date.

 

The guys all gather in a beautiful plaza, most are wearing only hoodies, Chris Harrison comes out bundled up in layers of shirts, coats, and scarf. Brrrr the guys have to be cold. 

 

First date- 1 on 1 with Chris
They go sightseeing around Munich.  Des says they might look too touristy with the translation books in their hands, Chris is like umm I think all these cameras will give it away lol.   They eat beef jerky, try on lederhosen and dance to polka music.  Bryden figures he simply can not stand being in Germany with Des another second and has to leave NOW.  You'd think he would have bounced in Atlantic city before that long as flight.  Anyways he wanders the streets of Munich asking people if they have seen a crew of tv cameras......ummm yeah buddy, behind you.  Finally he stumbles upon them and interrupts their lighthearted dancing.  Bryden is basically all lets be friends, nice to meet you, it's not you it's me. Blah blah, please just go already, lets get back to Chris.

Afterwards Des lets a tear or two fall before composing herself for Chris. I think she handled it well, I would have been pissed and told him to get the f out.  Chris is so sweet!  He wants to talk about it, to show he's open to communicate and console her. They go to a brewhaus and order huge mugs of beer.  I bet she drank it all, that's my girl Des. Prost!  Later that night they have dinner in a palace. Des looks amazing! I think her color is purple.  The lighting is also fabulous.  Chris tells her he's impressed with her today and is in it for the long haul, and whips out a poem he wrote on the airplane.  Just what Des needs right now. He may be in the final two with Brooks.

 

Group Date-  The group date card comes and it's Juan Pablo, James, Kasey, Zak, Brooks, Drew and Mikey T. That means Ben and Michael are on the 2 on 1, are you freaking kidding me? that is awesome! Michael says it's time go all Gladiator and murder Ben!! too good.  The group date guys meet Des and they take a lift up to Zugspitze- the tallest mountain in Germany. The views are breathtaking!  apparently no one is afraid of heights, no one mentions it.  Drew loves watching Des' face light up, he's so cute.  At the top they get schooled on yodeling and hop on tiny speed sleds. Crash and Burn.  Drew creams Des, she jumps back on and continues on.  Zak compares sledding down a hill to falling in love, you just gotta go for it. Not the best analogy, comparing love to a downhill trek lol. Snowball fight!  Brooks decks Des with a snowball to the face and Drew tackles her, both flirting in a schoolboy kind of way. Later they all head to an igloo built into the mountain. so cool and looks so cold.  It has a ton of rooms apparently and Des pulls Brooks to one of them.  I imagine acoustics are crazy loud in there and can hear all the convos. Awkward. Brooks says he is trying to live more in the moment and appreciate this time, Des attacks his face, boy has she missed him.  Mikey T pulls her outside and they build tiny snowmen, oh and he drops the bomb that he wants 5-10 kids oh you know, no big deal. Des face is priceless. Zak is doing this thing right, gets deeper and deeper every episode, showing his different layers. He explains that he traveled to Europe 10 years ago to pursue priesthood.  He was torn though and actually sat on these mountains to pray on his decision, apparently God had the bachelorette in store for him and chose not to become a priest. Shirtless Priest? sure.  James is next and the guys are starting to turn on him, good maybe he will be a more interesting "villain" than Ben. Brooks is bummed when he sees her kissing him and is afraid the are forming a deeper connection (don't worry sweetie) but is pleasantly surprised when she gave him the date rose, suck it James! hahaha

 

2 on 1.  It's that time! Ben and Michael hop in a limo to meet Des and it is dead quiet.  Michael the lawyer/judge whatever, is getting his argument together. Apparently Des knew they were having issues with each other? bet she regrets this now.  They arrive at Lake Tegernsee and Des greats them with hot chocolate or coffee and Michael pushes Ben in front of the German bus so fast Ben doesn't know what to do.  Des tries to break the ice by telling them they are doing the Polarbear Plunge (a date from Sean's season where him and all the other women jumped in a freezing ass lake which Des missed out on) Sike! Instead he are doing something waaay more fun. They are getting on a Hot Tug, basically a floating hot tub you can steer out into a freezing ass lake.  It is a great invention but not great for Des, she is stuck in the middle of the lake while Michael grills Ben on his son and how horrible of a father he thinks he is. Des wishes she could jump in the lake and swim away but hypothermia is still somehow worse. Later during dinner at the smallest table ever, seriously the producers have to do this on purpose, Let's see how can we make this more awkward.  Des says she wants to have a great dinner and talk about something more deeper, nope Michael isn't going to let that happen.  Michael calls him out on how he doesn't get along with any of the great guys in the house. And if he's such a good Christian dad how come he didn't call his son on Easter, or even attend church that day for that matter.  This season was filmed this past spring and apparently all the guys went to church on Easter Sunday except Ben, even the Mormon and Jew.....hmmm Drew and Chris?? I have no idea who he's referring to. Ben has had enough and excuses himself from the table. Des gives Michael a look like wtf? I kinda feel sorry for Ben, I mean yeah all the guys hate him which is a big red flag but all they've ever shown us is Ben just trying to spend as much time as possible with Des. There has to be something more us viewers don't see. Des goes to Ben and he says he's never had his faith or fatherhood questioned like that but that he still wants to be here with her. They go down to a wine cellar (yes!) and have a little one on one time.  I have no idea who she is sending home, Michael has brought up some good points here but I think he went waaaay too far and made Des uncomfortable for most of the date.  They come back to the table and Des pulls Michael away for some alone time. He tries to do some major damage control and give her specific reasons on why the house doesn't like Ben.  He brings up that instead of talking about his son, he talks about his business and how former contestants business have boomed after the show. They head back to the table and I still have no idea what she's gonna do, she may send both home at this point and I think that would be wise.  Ben's motives are too risky and Michael is just too wrapped up in Ben. The date rose goes to...........Michael!  Ben just gets up and leaves, no thanks I can walk myself out. Ben has had a bad day and basically every flaw called out on national tv. Des follows him and it's a pretty civil departing. He wishes her luck and hops in the limo.  During his exit ride he says "too bad Bachelor, you missed out on the single dad as the next Bachelor" and "How long do I have to wait to date publicly again?" I can see how the guys hate him now. Des made the right decision, but I don't think Michael will last much longer either.

 

Back at the hotel, the guys are hanging out. Drew and Kacey are talking with Chris and Brooks about what they heard on the way home from the group date last night. I like these 4 guys, they are my final 4 picks.  They all seem to really care about Des and have her best interest at heart. Anyways, Drew and Kacey were in a van with Mikey and James, they were both asleep and woke up to James saying if he plays his cards right he could be the next bachelor (damn that's 2 guys now, both who will never stand a chance of becoming the Bachelor.....you have to be oh what is it...likable!) and goes on to say that if not, when they are back in Chicago, James runs the town (yeah sure) and he can introduce Mikey to a ton of tall, beautiful women with a lot of money. Ouch, was that a burn to Des' poor upbringing? The guys are disgusted with what they hear.  They are going to tell Des about it at the rose ceremony tonight.

 

Cocktail Party.....or lack there of-

Des sits down with Chris Harrison and they discuss the guys.  Chris asks her who her favorite kisser is, she's reluctant to say of course but she finally says Brooks. awwwww!! but she also says Zak's kisses are passionate. ewww really??? I thought she'd say Juan Pablo was the passionate one. Cut to the guys, they are waiting for Des to arrive. James wants to talk to her first but all the others guys are very anxious to Des' reaction to the info on James.  Harrison and Des finally arrive and they drop the news that there will be no cocktail party. Des has made up her mind. The guys are stunned, and now afraid they could go home before James.

 

Rose Ceremony-

Brooks, Chris and Michael G already have roses. Bryden and Ben are gone so Des only has to get rid of 1 guy tonight. Zak, Drew, Kasey, and Juan Pablo are all called first. Mikey and James are left standing, either one can go but we know James still gets in a fight the season from the previews........and of course James is called. Mikey goes home, no surprise right? I mean 5-10 kids??? No way.  So now that Mikey is gone, it's just James here to defend himself next week, Mikey will not be there to be like nah he was just kidding man. 1 meathead down, 1 to go.

My Top Picks- Brooks, Chris, Drew and Kacey.

 

Next week- Barcelona, Spain!  and does James finally get punched????