The Bachelor- Juan Pablo Week 5

 

The water gets a little murkier in Vietnam

No more Juanuary, no more Sunday specials, what am I going to do with myself? Watch the Walking Dead I guess.  Juan Pablo takes his 11 remaining women to Vietnam.

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Ok yeah a lot of scenic pics, it's beautiful but again I don’t think I would have want to go there.  The water is not clear, it is muddy and looks disease ridden.
 

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Of course the water doesn’t have to be clear for me to want to go there, Venice's water leaves a lot to be desired. They stay at the InterContinental Danang Sun Peninsula Resort
 

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Renee gets the first date this week, She has butterflies and says her palms hurt she is so excited. What? Maybe she should get that checked out. They go sight seeing around the city of Hoi An.  Juan Pablo steals a pedicab and he pushes her around the city, you know, I great way to hold a conversation.
 

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You guys, in case you didn’t know, they are both 32 and both single parents, a match made in heaven right?  He takes her to have a traditional Vietnamese dress made just for her. She picks out a fabric.
 

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 Tons of pretty, vibrant colors. And while the seamstress is measuring her bust, JP remarks “36, oh wow, I like that” 
 

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Way to be a perv Juan Pabs.  She starts to sweat so he runs next door and buys a fan, awwww. Ok the producers buy the fan.  They also stop and pick up a few knick knacks for their kids.

 

Later at Dinner, Renee comes out wearing her new custom made dress.
 

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JP is all Daayyumm.  I like it too, I’m a sucker for purple and blue. They have dinner at a deserted restaurant.
 

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 The restaurant is obviously closed to just them but the street noise or something is very loud.  JP asks more about Renee’s past.  She met her baby daddy, Ben’s dad, when she was 21.  They were both to young.  They get along now though, for Bens’ sake, even if it is tough sometimes. Renee really wants to kiss him but Juan Pablo is still being a sporadic prude.  He wants to be respectful since they both have kids, how long is he going to ride that excuse? Do you want to kiss her or not Juan Pabs?  If he really had a lot of chemistry and really liked her he wouldn’t have been able to control himself (ie: Clare) Anyways she does still get the rose but admits she wanted a kiss too.
 

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After dinner they follow some local children to a lantern ceremony. 
 

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You basically make a wish and push you lit lantern out into the murky river. 
 

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Renee wishes for a kiss, sorry honey, ain’t gonna happen. Doesn’t she know those wishes only work on fountains? Duh.  Juan Pabs says he doesn’t want to kiss her because her son is 8 yrs old and that’s old enough to understand, doesn’t want him to ask why this man is kissing is mommy and is he going to be my new daddy. Ouch, ok I may see the point.

 

Group date- This week it is Andi’s turn to freak out about going on too many group dates and no 1 on 1 yet.  So of course she’s on the group date along with Clare, Sharleen, Kelly, Kat, Cassandra, Danielle, Chelsie and Ali.  They will be rowing down said murky water in rice paddy boats. There are 9 women on this date, so when asked to pair up, Clare is the last (wo)man standing. You see Clare doesn’t have any friends in the house, but surprise bitches! Since she is the odd (wo)man out, she gets to ride with Juan Pabs, bitches didn’t think that through did they? What did they think would happen, she would get excluded from the date? Yeah right, come sit next to J Pabs. The girls just hate her even more now. 

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  They float down the river. When her and JP’s boat gets stuck in some bushes, JP seizes the opportunity to kiss an unsuspecting Clare while he thought no one was looking. 

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 Of course they see it and are not pleased.

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Next they all wonder down a street and ask which way there is food, to which the man invites them into his home for food, yeah that wasn’t set up at all right? Sure 10 strangers plus cameramen can come into my tiny thatch house and eat all my food.  They all go out to the garden and pick out their fresh produce, Cassandra is bewildered (I shit you not, I can’t make this up) and wished they had something like this back in the US…..bitch it’s called farming!! Aww Cassandra, at least you’re pretty right? Andi uses this time to ask JP why she is on a group date again and no 1 on 1.  He tells her she got the group date rose last week right? Yeah. Ok so take that as a hint that you’re not leaving anytime soon and be grateful and shut up.

 

Okay, so they pick their food and sit down at a long table that conveniently fits everyone.

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That night, Juan Pablo pulls Clare aside first for some alone time.  The girls are understandably pissed, she basically already spent the whole day with him in their own rice paddy.  Now she’s the first one to get time with him, bad move J Pabs.  The girls are pretty spot on when they say they feel like Clare and JP are on a 1 on 1 date and they are tagging along. Juan Pablo doesn’t just pull her aside, no he takes her back to his hotel room and are all over each other in my pool. 
 

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How long where they gone??? Jeeze. Meanwhile, The girls are pretty spot on when they say they feel like Clare and JP are on a 1 on 1 date and the 8 of them are just tagging along.  Kelly asks if they should just walk the group date rose over to her now. LOL, yeah probably. 
 

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No wonder Clare thinks JP is her man, he basically is!  He kisses her in front of everyone else, sweeps her back to his place while he’s still on a date with 8 other women. Those are some pretty strong signals, what would you think?

 

Kelly ponders- Can we all hate her now, yes, yes we can. I guess no one hates Nikki this week because Clare is the time stealer this week.

 

He finally tears himself away from Clare and sits down with Sharleen. She just hopes JP sees her as a panda in a room full of brown bears.  They make out on the beach and the wind is about to rip her dress off.

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I must say Sharleen does have great dresses, most of which show off her bare back. Sexy but not Slutty. I guess that’s the panda in her.


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Next is Andi, when they talk they are always laying down and snuggled up, they are very comfortable with each other.  But  Juan Pablo takes her hand and walks down to the beach, he must only like making out in or near water.

 

Juan Pablo comes back to all 9 ladies and tells them what an amazing date it was, and all the girls are like yeah because you spend 75% of this date with Clare, yeah sooo amazing. So who do you think gets the rose……….of course CLARE! If I was any of these 8 other women I would be pissed. And Clare’s head gets even bigger.

 

I don’t know what JP was thinking here, he clearly didn’t have anyone else’s feelings In mind except for Clare.  I thought he would have been more respectful to the other women instead of rubbing salt in there wound like that.

 

After that lovely date, all the women head back to their suite. Clare says she is tired and pretends to leave to go to bed, instead she sneaks out and goes back to JP’s room.

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Hell why not, she knows where it is now and she thinks she has this thing in the bag.  She wants to go swimming in the warm water, apparently she has never swam in warm ocean water before?? Honey, did you see how murky the river was, do you think the ocean will be any cleaner??  Where do you think that agent orange river leads to…yep the ocean. Eww.  But JP is all for it, so he grabs his swimsuit and they head out.  JP says they have this connection that no one else has, on fire. They make out as the waves crash around them and all I can think of is not being able to see a shark sneak up on you, don’t they come out more at night? Like cats? Ok maybe just cats lol.  Anyways, Clare says she let everything go and we went just went for it, pure bliss in every way, wink wink ……..and I’m pretty sure they just screwed right there in the water. 

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 After their sexcapades, they stumble out of the water both checking to make sure their bottoms are still intact.  Clare talks about how wobbly are legs are, orgasm anyone? They are so guilty.  Hey remember Victoria and the Hymen maneuver hahha.

 

Juan Pablo doesn’t want to kiss a lot of girls for fear of being a bad example but he will screw a girl in the ocean?? That makes sense, Juan Pablo’s moral compass is more bipolar than Amanda Bynes.

 

The next day Nikki gets her first 1 on 1 date.  See Andi, complain enough and you will get a date.  Nikki has no idea JP was up all night all up in Clare all up in the ocean. But I’m pretty sure JP forgets all about it once he sees Nikki bouncing towards him in a white shirt and no bra, Clare who?? 

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The takes her for a hike through the jungle. Surprise! They will be rappelling 100 feet down into a cave….called Hell. Yes Nikki you are in Hell hahaha. 

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 Of course she’s scared “Either I live, die, or poop my pants” lol.  She is frozen so JP goes first. 

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She becomes victim to the date metaphors like, plunging to your death in a lot like falling love, both are scary or some shit like that. They make it about half way down before Nikki starts to panic again. He calms her fears by kissing her and she is ready to continue on into this “Hell cave”, wait is she referring to Clare’s vagina?

 

That night they have dinner in another cave, albeit not one that’s 100 feet down, just a normal cave turned restaurant. 

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 JP says he had a great day, where Nikki quips yeah because he got to stare at her butt all day.  She talking about nursing school and her job working with kids.  She says she loves her job because kids have such hope, even in the saddest moments.  She admits she was doubtful of JP having a kid but realized Camila has made him a better man…….oh sweetie, you would retract that if you knew what happened last night.  JP says he likes Nikki the Nurse and gives her the rose. He sees a lot of potential with her.  Nikki says she hasn’t felt like this in a long time, electric, like she stuck her finger in a socket.  Clare also hasn’t felt this in a while, that itchy burny sensation. Haha

 

Cocktail Party-  All the girls ride up on a larger rice paddy boat.
 

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And everything is decorated with lanterns
 

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Clare toasts “Cheers to finding love, being in love, and………making love” Wow way to be classy Clare, rub it in their face when they have no clue. 

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He face is so uncomfortable and the some of the girls may have caught on. He jumps up and grabs Andi for some alone time.  She is even more nervous about tonight after his obvious display of affection for Clare the other day.  He tells her not to worry, get a hint Andi, he’s basically telling her she is staying without saying it.  She learns kiss me in Spanish ….and French apparently. Haha.

 

Juan Pablo does a quick run through of all his favorite things about the girls. Cassandra is gorgeous and a great mom, and will make a great step mother. Sharleen has just got it, she is different from everyone else. Renee is his other favorite he says (such a favorite he has yet to touch her with a 10 foot pole?) She is beautiful and smart.  He pulls Renee away for some alone time, this time Renee stresses- look a have a kid but I’m not Mother Teresa for crying out loud! Ben knows she is here to find a husband and kissing is part of the territory, Juan Pablo takes a hint and plants one on her mid sentence. 

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Finally!!  They make out for a hot minute and there is definite chemistry there.  Afterwards Renee is on cloud nine

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She looks like Lucy twirling around lol.  She said that kiss was definitely worth the wait. 

 

Apparently Renee has brought back JP's morality because he is all of a sudden feeling pretty guilty about his secret rendezvous with Clare

 

Apparently Renee has brought back JP’s morality because he is all of a sudden he is feeling pretty guilty about his secret rendezvous with Clare.  She of course is still all gitty until he sits down with her and tells her maybe it wasn’t right and not fair to the other girls. Clare is now embarrassed and feels silly, she explains she was acting real, like there were no other girls, no cameras. But JP fires back but there ARE other women and cameras everywhere.  Clare is crushed, she never meant to disrespect Camila.  JP shouldn’t put that guilt on her like that, she was just doing what normal people do in relationships.  JP tells her to stop crying because if she freaks out every time he is honest with her then well he is going to stop being honest with her. OUCH. Place. Put. Harsh JP, harsh.
 

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Ok, you can’t tell me they didn’t have sex in that ocean.  If they didn’t then why does JP feel so guilty?  He’s kissed almost all the remaining girls so whats one more kiss? And for Claire to be that embarrassed and hurt, that was not over a little kiss.

 

JP led her on all week, his fault for putting her above all the other girls all week, what did he think was going to happen?

 

I think JP was way too harsh here.  Clare did nothing wrong, she wanted to swim in the ocean for the first time with her “boyfriend.”  Did she go into wanting to hook up? Who knows.  I’m sure JP was caught up in the moment too and probably wasn’t thinking with the right head, until later when he remember his daughter and other ladies.  I think he approached Clare about it all wrong.  He shouldn’t have called it a mistake, says he regretted it.  Now she thinks it’s her fault, that there is something wrong with her. No. He should have said while he thoroughly enjoyed it, maybe they should refrain from being physical again until she is the final one, if that is the end result.  That makes me think, what about the fantasy suite dates?? Those are coming up very soon with usually the final 3 or 4.  You’re telling me he’s going to be able to control himself when Sharleen/Andi/Clare are staying over night on a rose petal covered bed.  So whats the issue with 2-3 weeks.  My daughter will think I’m a man whore if she see’s I screwed Clare in the ocean, what is she going to think in 2 weeks when you sleep with 4 women in the fantasy suites. 

 

They come back and sit down with the rest of the girls and boy is it awkward.  Clare has obviously been crying and all the women assume Clare is his favorite and wonder how his favorite could be crying. If his favorite is upset and crying then we are all toast.  Clare says it’s just allergies but no one is falling for that.  She can’t get her shit together so she disappears to cry some more.  Ok now she needs to get it together, he didn’t dump you sweety and you have a rose!  JP of course hunts her down to console her.  He tells her to drop it, everything is fine, he just wants to hit the delete button and go back to the way they were before this sex scandal.  Just what a girl wants to hear- I want to pretend like we never had sex. 

 

They sit back down with the group. I guess there was plenty of time for all the girls to get their alone time with JP because they are all just sitting there in awkward silence waiting for Harrison to arrive. 
 

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 He doesn’t have a knife to tink tink the champagne glass this time but he probably should have brought it to cut the tension with.  Juan Pablo has to send 3 women packing and conveniently there are 3 women remaining he has yet to kiss.  I’m bummed going into the rose ceremony because my new favorite Kelly is probably going home : (

 

Rose Ceremony-

Clare, Nikki and Renee all have roses. The first rose goes to Sharleen, then Cassandra, Chelsie, Kat and…….is it really that suspenseful?? Andi looks like she just saw a ghost but he flat out TOLD her not to worry, that she was getting a rose.  Of course Andi gets the last rose.

 

So I was right, Hysterical Kelly is going home.  Yes I was way harsh about her lazy eye the beginning weeks, but her humor more than made up for it.  She even pokes fun of herself about her eye on twitter and I’m looking forward to her comments next week since she can officially say what she wants now. Twitter link-

 

Ali and Danielle also get sent home, they had a combined screen time of 30 seconds this whole season, Hell it took longer for Chelsie to jump of that bridge than we saw of them.

 

My Final 4 predictions-

Nikki, Andi, Sharleen, Clare.

 

Next week they head to New Zealand !! Now that is somewhere I would LOVE to go! Have you seen any of the Lord of the Rings/Hobbit movies?? That’s where they are filmed and it looks like a fantasy land.  Looks like Andi finally gets her first 1 on 1 date and we see Clare with a suitcase?!?! Yeah she may be an emotional basket case but JP likes her too much to send her home just yet, and I don’t think she will send herself home, she is obviously head over heels for JP.  Will she win? I don’t think so, I think they have more of a sexual chemistry, they do more kissing than talking. I think he will realize their connection isn’t more than sexual, they can’t even carry on a convo without making out.  And this ocean rendevous has already put a dark cloud over them, I don’t think a new relationship can withstand that.

 

The Bachelor Juan Pablo Week 4- S.Korea

South Korea, a live wedding, toe jam munching fish, and a sudden onset No Kissing Rule.

 

Catherine and Sean's wedding was on Sunday.  The 4th Bachelor Wedding and the first ever aired live.  The first hour was all filler, them planning the wedding.  They have moved to Texas, where Sean is from, and are still currently living apart. Hey, whatever works for them.  Catherine wants their wedding theme to be "Grown Sexy". Okay, as apposed to immature sexy? The wedding planner pretends follow along, apparently roses are grown sexy.  They also keep stressing that Sean and Catherine have yet to have sex, so they show him uncomfortably picking out some lingerie for Catherine for their wedding night.  Next they show Catherine and said lingerie at a photo shoot, she is making sexy boudoir pics for him. Cute idea, I like it.  Of course we don't get to see the pics because, lets face it, Sean at that point hadn't even see that side of her yet.  They also keep showing us the empty honeymoon suite aka the much talked about consummation station.  Ewww just creepy. We got it ABC, they will be having sex tonight for the first time.


The ceremony finally starts and we get to see past contestants.  Arie asks Jef with one F about Emily, hahaha yeah that ended so long ago and she just announced she is engaged to a commoner......someone who has not been on the Bachelor, gasp!  There's prego Deanna and Stephen Stagilano, Trista and Ryan, Molly and Jason, Ashley and JP, and of course Des and Chris.  Even Andy Dick is there! Wait? What? Your guess is as good as mine. Leslie who was also on Sean's season and technically ex girlfriend is a bridesmaid which isn't weird at all.  Finally Catherine comes down the isle, what kind of music was that?? The violinist apparently were playing "Something" by Michael Jackson, it was so weird I didn't even recognize it!  They recite vows. Catherine is a little obsessed with Sean, I guess there are worse things in this world than loving your husband too much lol.  They kiss and Sean busts out into tears as they finish walking back down the aisle and it is one of the sweetest things I've ever seen. These two crazy birds are so in love and all from a shallow TV show.

They don't show us any of the reception and thankfully no more of the honeymoon suite either.
 

Okay, on to Juan Pablo, who was not at the wedding. Harrison stops by to tell the remaining ladies that they need to pack their bags because they are headed to…….. South Korea !?! Ummm ok, they all lose their shit after hearing the news
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Molly is like what's with all the shrieks it’s only Korea, not really romantic. Clare starts to cry because she has never left the states before. I mean sure I would love to visit different places all over the world but South Korea isn't one of them.  It is beautiful though, lots of old oriental buildings and palaces mixed with new buildings with neon lights. 

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Reminds me of Beijing or something.  The ladies lug their shit load of suitcases through the airport.

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They make their way to their new home and it is sweeeeeeet.  Everyone is all giddy until they notice the date card sitting on the table. Nikki really really wants a 1 on 1 date but we all know that Sharleen from the previews, duh.  It’s a group date and Nikki is on it and she is not amused. She is tired of sharing and just wants her first real date gosh!

 

Group Date-  

Nikki, Kat, Cassandra, Danielle, Elise and Chelsie are all on this date and I know Elise has to be thrilled Chelsie is there since we heard  all last week how young Elise thinks she is.  The girls will be dancing with Korean pop sensation 2NE1.  Now I may be getting old but I swear that would stand for 2 anyone. But nope, apparently it stands for 21. Whatever.  Kat is super stoked for this date, her last date also involved dancing (Electric Run date) she loves to dance just like Juan Pabs. First 2NE1 wants to see if any of these girls can actually dance or are they all working with 2 left feet.  Kat is the first to step up and of course girl can move and seizes the opportunity to show off. 
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Nikki on the other hand is completely uncomfortable and just wants to crawl in a hole and die. She wants to throw a fit but she sucks it up and does her best lawn mower and knee/elbow dance.  It’s cute and at least she can have fun with it.                

 

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They don’t really show any of the other girls dancing so I assume they were normal white girl moves.  Next they show the girls the steps to the dance, Kat naturally picks it up easy and helps the other girls out. 
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Sure she’s really confident in her moves and MAY be showing off a little bit and this is her time to shine!   Surprise! The girls find out they will actually be using the choreography they just learned at an actual concert today! 
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Nikki says she about crapped her pants and I don’t blame her one bit! Dancing in front of a crowd, I would need lots of shots, lots of liquid courage.  Nikki hopes they will be performing in front of the South Korean School of the Blind. Hahahaha Nikki is my new favorite. Turns out they will be performing in a mall.  Is this the 80’s? I hope they run into Tiffany and Robin Sparkles.  They dress them up as one would assume they dress like in Tokyo , hello kitty, anime. And they look pretty ridiculous.
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Nikki is not thrilled. hahahahaha
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The dance isn’t bad, they start off strong but then pretty much let loose and dance however they want. I think Kat looks hot but my husband hates her face, I don’t get it, it’s a pretty face?  Kat looks like she is trying out for the Pussycat Dolls or something and Nikki suggests she stay behind and be a backup dancer for 2NE1. 
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Cassandra who is also a former NBA dancer doesn’t get much screen time, and Chelsie is always just a silly mess in her own little world. Apparently Danielle was on this date too but how does she always disappear?? Especially with her wild hair?? 

After that total waste of a time, JP takes the group to a furniture museum (?!?!?) Kat wants JP to know she’s not just a fun girl and she opens up about her alcoholic father who left her family when she was 5.  Daddy Issues!!  Meanwhile Nikki is telling the other girls how she thinks Kat is not here for the right reasons, she’s all relaxed with them but as soon as JP walks in the door, she gets all loud and excited, ummm isn’t that what a lot of people do when someone they like walks into a room? Anyways the other ladies are not hearing it, they think Nikki is too negative all the time.  I complain about working, I bet I would also complain if I had to constantly be with girls I may or may not like who are also dating the same guy. Yeah let the girl complain!  Elise uses her time wisely by talking about the other girls to Juan Pablo.  Nothing will get you sent home faster than discussing the drama in the house.  She talks about some of the girls that might not be here for the "right reasons" and might not make a great step mom.  Hear that Chelsie? Or Nikki? Or Kat? oh hell, who were we bitching about now again?

 

Nikki gets her time with JP and she confesses that she is nervous and that some of the other girls personalities can be over powering.  She comes from a very close family and is looking forward to having her own one day, whether pre-made or not. You see Nikki is Pro-Camilla. I've said it a thousand time but he always touches Nikki's face, and no not by kissing lol.
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I don't think they've even kissed yet! This time he poked her in the eye/touched her eyelashes? Was he checking to see if they were real? Trying to make a wish?  Nikki ends up get the group date rose for a second time in a row much to the other girls dismay. Plus Nikki gets her first kiss with him!

 

The next day back at the girl's hotel room. Molly Kelly fetches the date card.
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 Where is Molly? I hope they left her back in LA and not end up in the markets of Korea. Sharleen gets the 1 on 1 date. She says honestly this isn't the next step in their relationship, this date is to see if there is a relationship. She's no way in love like some of these crazy loons pretend to be at this early stage. JP admits that Sharleen is currently his favorite! Holy crap that's a bad sign. Yeah she is going to pull a Brooks and bounce somewhere towards the end. There's no way they would show us this footage if Sharleen is the actual one at the end.  This has Des and Brooks written all over it.


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On their date, Sharleen and Juan Pablo tour the city of Seoul.  They shop for Korean dresses and pick one up for Camila as well.  JP stops and eats some crazy stuff from the street vendors.  Sharleen reluctantly tries some and her face says it all.
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Sharleen is worried that JP is boring and dull.  But over tea, Juan Pablo sparks her interest by being a smart ass. She calls him Cheeky.  They actually do have a lot in common.  Both have lived outside of their home country, been an outsider.  Sharleen likes his curiosity about the world.

 

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Later that night he walks her out to an outdoor space. She's all like whaaat? He wants to finally hear her sing. 
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She tries to chicken out saying she usually don't open up that side of her so easily. Ummm don't opera singers usually sing for a room full of strangers? She felts out a few notes which of course are beautiful. It most have turned him on because she pulls her in to kiss her.  Heavy make out session, bites her lip.
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holy smokes, yeah they have chemistry. At dinner they get on the subject of kids. Her expression goes stone cold and she tries to dodge the question. No seriously Sharleen kids or no? You can see the internal struggle going on inside her head, lie or tell him I think kids are little terrors?  She goes with honesty and tells him she never saw herself having kids before.  Growing up she always focused her career.  She says she even dated a guy with a kid before and admits she was not ready for it. Damn. JP pushes further and asks what about it turns her away.  She says because they wouldn't share that first together, that milestone, he already shared that with an ex who will forever be in his life. I totally understand that. I get it.

 

Juan Pablo respects her honest and still gives her the rose! What?!? She basically just said she doesn't see herself as a step mother.....his number one criteria. Or is that dancing? must be dancing.

 

Renee, Ali and Lauren all think Sharleen is too sophisticated to have a kid, they can't see her with vomit all over her.  You're right, sophisticated people have no business having kids.  That should be left for the broken, single parent home.

 

 

Second group date goes to Clare, Kelly, Andi, Ali, Lauren and Renee.  Juan Pablo takes them to places all over the city. A karaoke bar, a dress up photo booth, and swan paddle boats. 

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hahaha Renee's face here is priceless. Was the singing that bad? Then a dress up photo booth.
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Swan paddle boats.
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Next they stop at a place called Dr. Fish.........it's one of those fish pedicure places.  They all stick their feet into pools of little fish that eat the dead skin of their feet.
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Hungry yet?  Clare gets very territorial when the other girls sit next to JP so as soon as a spot opens up she is right there by his side.  Is that a terrible thing?? you gotta get time with him and show you are interested.  After the fish get their fill they head out to the markets of Seoul.  Clare mentions to JP that she doesn't want to eat anything crazy little octopus, so that's immediately where JP takes them.  Everyone tries a tentacle except Clare.  Kelly is spot on when she says Clare needs to suck it up because she knows she swallowed bigger things then that before. Hahahahaha. After I pick myself of the floor and hear everyone chanting Clare, Clare, Clare.....she finally eats a piece.  She immediately spits it out but JP is so proud of her. 
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Well Played. You guys, Clare is no dummy, she got all the attention on her and made it seem like she over came something. Is it annoying, yes, but JP must like it.

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That night Renee is the first to get some alone time with JP.  She really wants to kiss him this time since she has yet to.  For some reason tonight of all nights Juan Pablo decides that he has kissed too many girls already and is setting a bad example. Honey, going on the Bachelor is not really setting the best example to begin with.  She asks if she can kiss him (Girls you never have to ask permission to kiss a guy, if anything he should be asking you!) and of course JP denies her, saying it won't be fair to their kids. ugh.

 

All the girls keep returning to the group saying they didn't get kisses either. Well Clare isn't having any of that, she says she isn't going to TRY to kiss her man, she's just going to do it.

 

Meanwhile, Andi's time goes much better with JP. They snuggle under a blanket and he picks on her about her dancing (when did they go dancing?) and she comes back with she didn't see any great moves from him either. Ha! He says she really gets his humor.  They don't kiss but she doesn't really try to either.  They've spent most of their time together sucking face that they needed this time to actually have a conversation.  Not kissing actually helped them here I think. She will be in the final 4.

 

Lauren who you've hardly seen all season thinks this is her night for a big smooch.  She looks a little drunk actually and she tries to get JP to slow dance randomly and lay one on him. He dodges the kiss and it is hard to watch, I feel so bad for the girl. She is obviously humiliated and starts to cry. He tries to make the excuse that he wants to be a role model for his daughter and she rightly calls him out about kissing most of the girls already.   This is one of those He's just not that into you situations.

 

Clare finally gets her time with Juan Pabs and starts talking about eating that nasty octopus earlier and how she actually threw up in her mouth a little bit but swallowed it.  Kelly was right, she is good at swallowing. 

 

Cut to Andi and Kelly who are at the same moment making fun of Clare for her theatrical octopus shenanigans and it's pretty freaking hilarious. Kelly is definitely the comic relief this season.
                (Credit:ABC)

                     (Credit:ABC)

 

Back to Clare, and somehow JP isn't repulsed by the vomit story.  He talks about how last week she apparently told him she wanted to hold off on kissing him for awhile so they connect on a different level.  Hmmmm maybe that's where he got this sudden no kissing idea from.  But of course now that none of the other girls have been unable to kiss him it has now become a challenge.  She tempts him by seductively eating chocolate and licking her lips.  Juan Pabs can't control himself any longer and breaks his new rule.

My thoughts are that Clare put that little seed in his head about not kissing for awhile. Plus I think he has already kissed all the girls he wants to kiss. Nikki, Andi, Clare, Sharleen, Kat, Cassandra, and Chelsie.

 

Clare is feeling pretty smug afterwards and convinced she is getting the group date rose. Nope! It's Andi! Clare should just be happy she got her kiss.

 

                      (Credit:ABC)

The party is held at a beautiful Korean palace.  Looks like Sharleen is wearing her Korean dress she got on her date.  Juan Pablo pulls Kelly away first for some time alone, and we don't get to see any of it! They never show us what goes down between these two.  The girls all agree that those that already have roses will basically sit this party out and let those that don't yet get some time with JP. Most of the girls think that is the respectful thing to do, except Nikki who remembers this is a competition and it's a stupid idea.  She says if there's any a time to be selfish, it's now.  So she walks right over and steals him away from Clare.  She reluctantly hands over JP but she's pissed. Nikki and JP really do have a good connection, you can tell he really wants to kiss her here but refrains.  He does ask her how it's going in the house, he heard there was drama (from Elise)  She's taken aback, doesn't really think there was any drama.  She's right, there's no Tierra or Courtney this season.  So now Nikki assumes Clare was just talking shit about her to him.

Nikki is bitching to Kelly when Clare walks up.  Kelly is completely caught in the middle.
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Uncomfortable! Nikki asks if Clare if she brought her up during her time with JP, Clare of course didn't and tells her she would never waste her precious time with JP talking about any of the girls. Yeah Elise! Clare does wonder though how Nikki keeps getting roses because Clare just doesn't get what JP sees in her.
               (Credit:ABC)
Ouch. But Nikki isn't bothered because thankfully Clare isn't the one handing out the roses.  The cocktail party goes by too fast so since Nikki got extra time, some girls didn't get time at all. Opps.  But if Juan Pablo really wanted to talk to someone he would have, he's the El Bachelor for crying out loud.

 

 

Rose Ceremony-

Nikki, Sharleen and Andi already have roses.  Renee is called first, Then Chelsie, Kelly, Danielle (what?!?!?), Cassandra, Ali, Clare and.......Kat.

 

So that means Lauren and Elise are out. No shocker here. Elise's fate was sealed when she used her time to talk about the other girls.  Lauren, well poor Lauren. She knew she was going home.

My Final 4-
1. Clare
2. Nikki
3. Andi
4. Sharleen

Danielle can't possibly last mush longer can she? Next week they are head to......Nam! yep Vietnam.  I'm sure it's beautiful but I don't think I would want to go there.  Looks like Clare also makes an ass of herself, she sneaks over to his room but she gets shot down?? Does she try to pull a Courtney and steal him away for a secret skinny dipping rendezvous??

Please leave your comments below, tell me your opinion!