Monday, February 3, 2014

The Bachelor Juan Pablo Week 4- S.Korea

South Korea, a live wedding, toe jam munching fish, and a sudden onset No Kissing Rule.
 
Catherine and Sean's wedding was on Sunday.  The 4th Bachelor Wedding and the first ever aired live.  The first hour was all filler, them planning the wedding.  They have moved to Texas, where Sean is from, and are still currently living apart. Hey, whatever works for them.  Catherine wants their wedding theme to be "Grown Sexy". Okay, as apposed to immature sexy? The wedding planner pretends follow along, apparently roses are grown sexy.  They also keep stressing that Sean and Catherine have yet to have sex, so they show him uncomfortably picking out some lingerie for Catherine for their wedding night.  Next they show Catherine and said lingerie at a photo shoot, she is making sexy boudoir pics for him. Cute idea, I like it.  Of course we don't get to see the pics because, lets face it, Sean at that point hadn't even see that side of her yet.  They also keep showing us the empty honeymoon suite aka the much talked about consummation station.  Ewww just creepy. We got it ABC, they will be having sex tonight for the first time.


The ceremony finally starts and we get to see past contestants.  Arie asks Jef with one F about Emily, hahaha yeah that ended so long ago and she just announced she is engaged to a commoner......someone who has not been on the Bachelor, gasp!  There's prego Deanna and Stephen Stagilano, Trista and Ryan, Molly and Jason, Ashley and JP, and of course Des and Chris.  Even Andy Dick is there! Wait? What? Your guess is as good as mine. Leslie who was also on Sean's season and technically ex girlfriend is a bridesmaid which isn't weird at all.  Finally Catherine comes down the isle, what kind of music was that?? The violinist apparently were playing "Something" by Michael Jackson, it was so weird I didn't even recognize it!  They recite vows. Catherine is a little obsessed with Sean, I guess there are worse things in this world than loving your husband too much lol.  They kiss and Sean busts out into tears as they finish walking back down the aisle and it is one of the sweetest things I've ever seen. These two crazy birds are so in love and all from a shallow TV show.

They don't show us any of the reception and thankfully no more of the honeymoon suite either.
 
Okay, on to Juan Pablo, who was not at the wedding. Harrison stops by to tell the remaining ladies that they need to pack their bags because they are headed to…….. South Korea !?! Ummm ok, they all lose their shit after hearing the news
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Molly is like what's with all the shrieks it’s only Korea, not really romantic. Clare starts to cry because she has never left the states before. I mean sure I would love to visit different places all over the world but South Korea isn't one of them.  It is beautiful though, lots of old oriental buildings and palaces mixed with new buildings with neon lights. 

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Reminds me of Beijing or something.  The ladies lug their shit load of suitcases through the airport.
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They make their way to their new home and it is sweeeeeeet.  Everyone is all giddy until they notice the date card sitting on the table. Nikki really really wants a 1 on 1 date but we all know that Sharleen from the previews, duh.  It’s a group date and Nikki is on it and she is not amused. She is tired of sharing and just wants her first real date gosh!
 
Group Date-  
Nikki, Kat, Cassandra, Danielle, Elise and Chelsie are all on this date and I know Elise has to be thrilled Chelsie is there since we heard  all last week how young Elise thinks she is.  The girls will be dancing with Korean pop sensation 2NE1.  Now I may be getting old but I swear that would stand for 2 anyone. But nope, apparently it stands for 21. Whatever.  Kat is super stoked for this date, her last date also involved dancing (Electric Run date) she loves to dance just like Juan Pabs. First 2NE1 wants to see if any of these girls can actually dance or are they all working with 2 left feet.  Kat is the first to step up and of course girl can move and seizes the opportunity to show off. 
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Nikki on the other hand is completely uncomfortable and just wants to crawl in a hole and die. She wants to throw a fit but she sucks it up and does her best lawn mower and knee/elbow dance.  It’s cute and at least she can have fun with it.                
 
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They don’t really show any of the other girls dancing so I assume they were normal white girl moves.  Next they show the girls the steps to the dance, Kat naturally picks it up easy and helps the other girls out. 
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Sure she’s really confident in her moves and MAY be showing off a little bit and this is her time to shine!   Surprise! The girls find out they will actually be using the choreography they just learned at an actual concert today! 
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Nikki says she about crapped her pants and I don’t blame her one bit! Dancing in front of a crowd, I would need lots of shots, lots of liquid courage.  Nikki hopes they will be performing in front of the South Korean School of the Blind. Hahahaha Nikki is my new favorite. Turns out they will be performing in a mall.  Is this the 80’s? I hope they run into Tiffany and Robin Sparkles.  They dress them up as one would assume they dress like in Tokyo , hello kitty, anime. And they look pretty ridiculous.
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Nikki is not thrilled. hahahahaha
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The dance isn’t bad, they start off strong but then pretty much let loose and dance however they want. I think Kat looks hot but my husband hates her face, I don’t get it, it’s a pretty face?  Kat looks like she is trying out for the Pussycat Dolls or something and Nikki suggests she stay behind and be a backup dancer for 2NE1. 
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Cassandra who is also a former NBA dancer doesn’t get much screen time, and Chelsie is always just a silly mess in her own little world. Apparently Danielle was on this date too but how does she always disappear?? Especially with her wild hair?? 

After that total waste of a time, JP takes the group to a furniture museum (?!?!?) Kat wants JP to know she’s not just a fun girl and she opens up about her alcoholic father who left her family when she was 5.  Daddy Issues!!  Meanwhile Nikki is telling the other girls how she thinks Kat is not here for the right reasons, she’s all relaxed with them but as soon as JP walks in the door, she gets all loud and excited, ummm isn’t that what a lot of people do when someone they like walks into a room? Anyways the other ladies are not hearing it, they think Nikki is too negative all the time.  I complain about working, I bet I would also complain if I had to constantly be with girls I may or may not like who are also dating the same guy. Yeah let the girl complain!  Elise uses her time wisely by talking about the other girls to Juan Pablo.  Nothing will get you sent home faster than discussing the drama in the house.  She talks about some of the girls that might not be here for the "right reasons" and might not make a great step mom.  Hear that Chelsie? Or Nikki? Or Kat? oh hell, who were we bitching about now again?
 
Nikki gets her time with JP and she confesses that she is nervous and that some of the other girls personalities can be over powering.  She comes from a very close family and is looking forward to having her own one day, whether pre-made or not. You see Nikki is Pro-Camilla. I've said it a thousand time but he always touches Nikki's face, and no not by kissing lol.
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I don't think they've even kissed yet! This time he poked her in the eye/touched her eyelashes? Was he checking to see if they were real? Trying to make a wish?  Nikki ends up get the group date rose for a second time in a row much to the other girls dismay. Plus Nikki gets her first kiss with him!
 
The next day back at the girl's hotel room. Molly Kelly fetches the date card.
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 Where is Molly? I hope they left her back in LA and not end up in the markets of Korea. Sharleen gets the 1 on 1 date. She says honestly this isn't the next step in their relationship, this date is to see if there is a relationship. She's no way in love like some of these crazy loons pretend to be at this early stage. JP admits that Sharleen is currently his favorite! Holy crap that's a bad sign. Yeah she is going to pull a Brooks and bounce somewhere towards the end. There's no way they would show us this footage if Sharleen is the actual one at the end.  This has Des and Brooks written all over it.


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On their date, Sharleen and Juan Pablo tour the city of Seoul.  They shop for Korean dresses and pick one up for Camila as well.  JP stops and eats some crazy stuff from the street vendors.  Sharleen reluctantly tries some and her face says it all.
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Sharleen is worried that JP is boring and dull.  But over tea, Juan Pablo sparks her interest by being a smart ass. She calls him Cheeky.  They actually do have a lot in common.  Both have lived outside of their home country, been an outsider.  Sharleen likes his curiosity about the world.
 
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Later that night he walks her out to an outdoor space. She's all like whaaat? He wants to finally hear her sing. 
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She tries to chicken out saying she usually don't open up that side of her so easily. Ummm don't opera singers usually sing for a room full of strangers? She felts out a few notes which of course are beautiful. It most have turned him on because she pulls her in to kiss her.  Heavy make out session, bites her lip.
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holy smokes, yeah they have chemistry. At dinner they get on the subject of kids. Her expression goes stone cold and she tries to dodge the question. No seriously Sharleen kids or no? You can see the internal struggle going on inside her head, lie or tell him I think kids are little terrors?  She goes with honesty and tells him she never saw herself having kids before.  Growing up she always focused her career.  She says she even dated a guy with a kid before and admits she was not ready for it. Damn. JP pushes further and asks what about it turns her away.  She says because they wouldn't share that first together, that milestone, he already shared that with an ex who will forever be in his life. I totally understand that. I get it.
 
Juan Pablo respects her honest and still gives her the rose! What?!? She basically just said she doesn't see herself as a step mother.....his number one criteria. Or is that dancing? must be dancing.
 
Renee, Ali and Lauren all think Sharleen is too sophisticated to have a kid, they can't see her with vomit all over her.  You're right, sophisticated people have no business having kids.  That should be left for the broken, single parent home.
 
 
Second group date goes to Clare, Kelly, Andi, Ali, Lauren and Renee.  Juan Pablo takes them to places all over the city. A karaoke bar, a dress up photo booth, and swan paddle boats. 
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hahaha Renee's face here is priceless. Was the singing that bad? Then a dress up photo booth.
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Swan paddle boats.
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Next they stop at a place called Dr. Fish.........it's one of those fish pedicure places.  They all stick their feet into pools of little fish that eat the dead skin of their feet.
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Hungry yet?  Clare gets very territorial when the other girls sit next to JP so as soon as a spot opens up she is right there by his side.  Is that a terrible thing?? you gotta get time with him and show you are interested.  After the fish get their fill they head out to the markets of Seoul.  Clare mentions to JP that she doesn't want to eat anything crazy little octopus, so that's immediately where JP takes them.  Everyone tries a tentacle except Clare.  Kelly is spot on when she says Clare needs to suck it up because she knows she swallowed bigger things then that before. Hahahahaha. After I pick myself of the floor and hear everyone chanting Clare, Clare, Clare.....she finally eats a piece.  She immediately spits it out but JP is so proud of her. 
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Well Played. You guys, Clare is no dummy, she got all the attention on her and made it seem like she over came something. Is it annoying, yes, but JP must like it.
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That night Renee is the first to get some alone time with JP.  She really wants to kiss him this time since she has yet to.  For some reason tonight of all nights Juan Pablo decides that he has kissed too many girls already and is setting a bad example. Honey, going on the Bachelor is not really setting the best example to begin with.  She asks if she can kiss him (Girls you never have to ask permission to kiss a guy, if anything he should be asking you!) and of course JP denies her, saying it won't be fair to their kids. ugh.
 
All the girls keep returning to the group saying they didn't get kisses either. Well Clare isn't having any of that, she says she isn't going to TRY to kiss her man, she's just going to do it.
 
Meanwhile, Andi's time goes much better with JP. They snuggle under a blanket and he picks on her about her dancing (when did they go dancing?) and she comes back with she didn't see any great moves from him either. Ha! He says she really gets his humor.  They don't kiss but she doesn't really try to either.  They've spent most of their time together sucking face that they needed this time to actually have a conversation.  Not kissing actually helped them here I think. She will be in the final 4.
 
Lauren who you've hardly seen all season thinks this is her night for a big smooch.  She looks a little drunk actually and she tries to get JP to slow dance randomly and lay one on him. He dodges the kiss and it is hard to watch, I feel so bad for the girl. She is obviously humiliated and starts to cry. He tries to make the excuse that he wants to be a role model for his daughter and she rightly calls him out about kissing most of the girls already.   This is one of those He's just not that into you situations.
 
Clare finally gets her time with Juan Pabs and starts talking about eating that nasty octopus earlier and how she actually threw up in her mouth a little bit but swallowed it.  Kelly was right, she is good at swallowing. 
 
Cut to Andi and Kelly who are at the same moment making fun of Clare for her theatrical octopus shenanigans and it's pretty freaking hilarious. Kelly is definitely the comic relief this season.
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Back to Clare, and somehow JP isn't repulsed by the vomit story.  He talks about how last week she apparently told him she wanted to hold off on kissing him for awhile so they connect on a different level.  Hmmmm maybe that's where he got this sudden no kissing idea from.  But of course now that none of the other girls have been unable to kiss him it has now become a challenge.  She tempts him by seductively eating chocolate and licking her lips.  Juan Pabs can't control himself any longer and breaks his new rule.

My thoughts are that Clare put that little seed in his head about not kissing for awhile. Plus I think he has already kissed all the girls he wants to kiss. Nikki, Andi, Clare, Sharleen, Kat, Cassandra, and Chelsie.
 
Clare is feeling pretty smug afterwards and convinced she is getting the group date rose. Nope! It's Andi! Clare should just be happy she got her kiss.

 
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The party is held at a beautiful Korean palace.  Looks like Sharleen is wearing her Korean dress she got on her date.  Juan Pablo pulls Kelly away first for some time alone, and we don't get to see any of it! They never show us what goes down between these two.  The girls all agree that those that already have roses will basically sit this party out and let those that don't yet get some time with JP. Most of the girls think that is the respectful thing to do, except Nikki who remembers this is a competition and it's a stupid idea.  She says if there's any a time to be selfish, it's now.  So she walks right over and steals him away from Clare.  She reluctantly hands over JP but she's pissed. Nikki and JP really do have a good connection, you can tell he really wants to kiss her here but refrains.  He does ask her how it's going in the house, he heard there was drama (from Elise)  She's taken aback, doesn't really think there was any drama.  She's right, there's no Tierra or Courtney this season.  So now Nikki assumes Clare was just talking shit about her to him.

Nikki is bitching to Kelly when Clare walks up.  Kelly is completely caught in the middle.
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Uncomfortable! Nikki asks if Clare if she brought her up during her time with JP, Clare of course didn't and tells her she would never waste her precious time with JP talking about any of the girls. Yeah Elise! Clare does wonder though how Nikki keeps getting roses because Clare just doesn't get what JP sees in her.
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Ouch. But Nikki isn't bothered because thankfully Clare isn't the one handing out the roses.  The cocktail party goes by too fast so since Nikki got extra time, some girls didn't get time at all. Opps.  But if Juan Pablo really wanted to talk to someone he would have, he's the El Bachelor for crying out loud.

 
 
Rose Ceremony-
Nikki, Sharleen and Andi already have roses.  Renee is called first, Then Chelsie, Kelly, Danielle (what?!?!?), Cassandra, Ali, Clare and.......Kat.
 
So that means Lauren and Elise are out. No shocker here. Elise's fate was sealed when she used her time to talk about the other girls.  Lauren, well poor Lauren. She knew she was going home.

My Final 4-
1. Clare
2. Nikki
3. Andi
4. Sharleen

Danielle can't possibly last mush longer can she? Next week they are head to......Nam! yep Vietnam.  I'm sure it's beautiful but I don't think I would want to go there.  Looks like Clare also makes an ass of herself, she sneaks over to his room but she gets shot down?? Does she try to pull a Courtney and steal him away for a secret skinny dipping rendezvous??

Please leave your comments below, tell me your opinion!


 

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