Saturday, January 4, 2014

Bachelor Juan Pablo-

First Impression Pictures- The Good, The Bad, and The Crazy Eye!

It's that time of year again! Bachelor Time!  The holidays are over, it's cold and grey and blah outside. Some people even get the blues. But have no fear, it's Juanuary and Mondays just got a hell of a lot more survivable! Fridays just seem so distant at the start of the week, am I right?  Of course I've already checked the 27 ladies vying for Juan's heart and of course I already have my favorites just from looks and Bio's alone. When I heard Juan Pablo was going to be the Bachelor, I told my husband this is going to be the best looking cast ever. I figured he would have a bunch of beautiful exotic women like Victoria Secret models Adrianna Lima and Alessandra Ambrosio.  I wasn't wrong, most of the women are gorgeous.

 (Credit: ABC)
My top 8 girls are-
1.Victoria- Victoria (Credit: ABC)
She's gorgeous and she's from Brazil! Sure they speak Portuguese and JP is from Venezuela which speak Spanish, but surely their South American backgrounds will spark a connection. Plus she is a legal assistant, girl's gotta have some brains.
2.ClareClare  (Credit: ABC)
She looks like a spunky blonde. Is she the right one for JP? I dunno, but she is MY personal favorite at this point.
3.Alexis- Alexis  (Credit: ABC)
Cuban beauty, her large family owns a spice company in FL.
4.Amy L- Amy L (Credit: ABC)
News reporter from FL. Kinda looks like Topanga from Boy Meets World here.
5.Andi- Andi (Credit: ABC)
From Atlanta but she has some exotic features maybe?
6. Cassandra- Cassandra (Credit: ABC)
She is a former NBA dancer so you know JP will love her dance moves.
7.Kat- Kat (Credit: ABC)
Also a NBA dancer. JP has stated he wants a lady he can dance with....
8.Val- Valerie (Credit: ABC)
Exotic beauty.....Indian? Middle Eastern maybe? Hell, I can't tell.
In the promo's, Juan has stated his top 2 priorites are: she has to be great with children and know how to dance. He wants a lady that will love his daughter Camilla as well as have rhythm on the dance floor...........or bedroom. To quote Ludacris, he's looking for a lady on the street but a freak in the bed. Juan has also said he doesn't want a drunk, so if anyone gets sloppy that first night (and there's always one!) I bet you Juan will toss her in the reject limo faster than she can say "Woohoo I love this song, wait where are my shoes?"
Juan has to eliminate 7 women the first night. My choices at this point would be-
Kylie- Kylie (Credit: ABC)
This redhead just looks scary, and it has nothing to do with her hair! And I'm pretty sure I saw a hideous hand tattoo during a promo. yikes. no
Lauren H- Lauren H (Credit: ABC)
She reminds me of Blakely, no thanks. And again, I'm pretty sure they show her sobbing on the first night. Next!
Ashley- Ashley (Credit: ABC)
Two words- Man Face
Amy J-Amy J (Credit: ABC)
 I don't like her face, and she has the crazy eye.
Kelly- Kelly (Credit: ABC)
She looks pretty but she has vacant eyes, like stripper eyes....I swear, eyes can tell you a lot about a person.
Lucy- Lucy (Credit: ABC)
Occupation: Free Spirit.  really??? Get a job bitch.
Danielle- Danielle (Credit: ABC)
Her features are too much, the wild hair, big teeth and intense eyes.  That would be scary to wake up too.
That leaves 12 girls in between.  Cute girls that haven't really made an impression on me yet. Of course that will all change after the first episode. We have no idea who is the drunk, the bitch, the crier or who comes out of the limo doing something cringe worthy. Past examples include- wearing a wedding dress, bringing your grandma, proposing, and of course, slapping him across the face. I can't make this shit up.

ABC was not kidding when they said this was Juanuary. Every Sunday night this month there is a Bachelor special!
-This Sunday the 5th is a recap of Juans journey thus Des dumping him last season.
-Next Sunday the 12th will be a special/recap of the first night. We will see what happens after the first ladies are executed, I mean eliminated. We will also see the remaining ladies move into the mansion. I'm super stoked about this basically behind the scenes footage and get to know these ladies a little faster.
-Sunday the 19th will be a couples update, who's still together and who's not.
-And then finally on Sunday the 26th will be Sean and Catherine wedding!
So stock up on your wine and lock up your dignity because It's Juanuary!

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