Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Bachelorette Des- Episode 1

It's true, I love the Bachelor. Yes I know it's cheesy, and No I don't take it seriously. I do root for these crazy people to find happiness and it's pure entertainment! I've been watching it since it premiered about 10 years ago, why stop now right?  I don't like looking at the spoilers so you won't find any here. I will include few snarky comments from husband who so kindly endures the Bachelor takeover on Monday nights.  Most of the time this show is basically just a big guide of what not to do!   And of course there are those who "aren't here for the right reasons" aka C-list fame.
Ok let's get started with Desiree.  I was hoping she would be the next bachelorette after her asshole brother ruined things for her last season.   She's cute and bubbly and has a sense of humor.  It took me a second to adjust to no bangs Des, but I they're growing on me : )-  Oh and she's crying a lot, do the producers have that Sarah McLaughlin sad puppy commercial on a continuous reel or something? Chris Harrison greets her at her new house and gives her the keys to her new car. I personally liked the teal Bentley, it's girly and fun. Perfect for the Bachelorette I think, would you rather have hot pink?? They talk more about her poor childhood, was she really that poor or just not rich like the rest?  Just because you weren't loaded like Emily Maynard doesn't mean you are poor right??? And I swore they said she was homeless at one point last season, anyone else remember that? I gotta go back and find it.  Ok on to the men!
The 8 men that got special promos were- Bryden(Solider), Will (Banker/yoga), Drew (Digital Marketing), Nick(Magician), Zak (Drilling Engineer), Robert(sign spinner), Mike(dental student), and Brandon(Paint contractor). I've noticed from past seasons that the extra promo time does not mean they will stick around long or even be in the finals. Heck, Last year Catherine hardly got any screen time at all until the 3rd or 4th episode. Catherine who?
Limo Arrivals-
Drew 27- Digital Marketing Analyst. Arizona. Very cute. Sad family story. He forgot to say his name but still got a Mmmmm Mmmm from Des. He's a front runner for me.

Brooks 28- Marketing. Salt Lake City, UT. Cute, long hair. Also forgot to say his name. He seems shy but laidback. He's also a top pick.

Brad 27- Accountant/DJ. Denver,CO. Not bad, tall, kinda looks like Matt Lillard?? He brought a wish bone for Des to break for good luck. I thought it was a cute idea. He's kinda forgettable but I hope he goes far.
Michael G 33- Federal Prosecutor. New York. Cute. Burly. He tried to get Des' penny out of the fountain from last season so she could get a do over. Also a cute idea and endearing when it didn't work as planned. He's another top pick for me, dang that's a lot all ready : \

Bryden 26- Iraqi veteran. MT .Very muscular, not my thing but cute. Maybe it's the caesar hair cut, but he just comes across doofy? no?  Not many soldiers with that terrible buzz.
Will 28- Banker. WA. The token black guy, not bad but heavy on the yoga. weird.
Mike 27- Dental Student. family is from London, no accent which is a shame and he is aware, can you not fake it?
Brandon 26-Paint Contractor. Minnesota. Cute, adrenaline junkie. Showed up on a motorcycle. Sad backstory.

Kasey-29 Advertising Exec. Tulsa, OK.   He's cute but very obnoxious with the hashtags. Hope he goes home soon. #enoughsaid.
Mikey T 30- Plumber. Cali. He's got that Jersey shore look that makes my skin crawl.  He says he can relate to her older brother being a jerk. He's got Douche written all over him. Next!
Jonathan 26- Hickory NC! woohoo wait? what is that?  a fantasy suite card?? That's basically the sex suite used in the finales. It's a disaster. nooooo NC no!
Zak W 31- Drilling Engineer. Texas. Crazy bug eyes, likes to stand nude on balconies, and now shirtless coming out of the limo. Lame.
James 27- Sales, Georgia. Another jersey douche. Needs to lay off the steroids.
Larry 34- Doctor, Kansas. Cute, distinguished looking. Poor guy bombed the dip he tried on Des, her dress wasn't cut out for it.
Nick R 26- Magician/tailor. CT. Weirdo, not cute. And as a tailor, his suit was horrible.
Zack K 28 - Publisher. CA. OK looking. Wears sneakers with his suit to met Des.
Diego 29- Marketing. Brazil. This dude shows up in a suit of armor and he's ugly. Seriously were do you get a suit of armor? The producers had to have helped him get that. Diego no and no.
Chris 27- Mortgage broker. Oregon. Was a pro baseball player at one point apparently. He's not bad looking. He did a proposal fake out on Des and got on one knee to....... tie his shoe. Cute idea, Des liked it.
Robert 30-Advertising. Arizona. He's kinda cute but has a very long face, he sorta looks like the friend from Ferris Bueller? He has a one eyed dog so that wins points in my book. He shows up in a tie and asks if he can loosen up his tie zzzzzzz
Juan Pablo 31- Pro Soccer Player. Venezuela. Very cute and Des is smitten with his accent. I bet Des would hesitate to turn him down on the fantast suite card.
Brian 29- Finance. Ehhh ok looking, he's got weird eyebrows. My husband says he looks like an uglier Nick from New Girl. He shows up in a soft blue jacket? not sure what the point or deal was with that.
Micah 32- Law student. Minnesota. Doofy looking. He wore a self designed suit, since Des designs dresses, but it is hideous. Bright blue with patchwork. no.
Nick M 27- Investor. Charlotte, NC woop woop!! Cute, I hope this goes better than the last NC guy, crap a cheesy poem.
Dan 30-Beverage Sales (does that mean bartender?)Las Vegas. Look like Jeff Probst from survivor?
Ben 28- Entrepenour. Lubbock, TX. His son gets out of the limo first in a little suit, Des eats it up. Ehhhh the kid is cute and all but Ben seems kinda boring.
Is it just me or is there a lot of douche bag, jersey shore kind of guys this season? Maybe Des has a thing for that?
Cocktail Party-
The only redeeming thing Nick R does is his magic trick to make Des disappear, that made me giggle, alright magician, you got 1 laugh.  Brandon steals her away and gives her his moms sober coin or something, he's very cute but comes across a little needy. Ben is the first to get a rose and of course he has a target on his back, will he be this seasons "they hate me b/c I got a rose not b/c I'm a complete bitch" Teirra? Zak shows he's serious by pulling an Ed and jumping in the pool the first night. why not. Des gets pulled away but she does go back and give him a pity rose. Bryden talks about a boy he met fighting in Iraq, you can tell Des thinks Juan Pablo is dreamy and she calls Drew out for checking out her rack but also gives him a rose.  Larry finally gets some one on one time to apologize for the dip but by this point he is pretty tipsy.  It's a shame b/c I like him but he's digging himself a hole, just drop the dip screw up already! talk about something else! oh well, he's a goner. I bet he would have been entertaining too. Jonathan, oh Jonathan, take a hint already, that fantasy sweet card was a flop. And now he's trying to drag her in there again for a kiss.."on the lips" he stresses, ewww he's creepy!!  I bet these producers were eating this up! Quick get him another candle, another accent pillow!!  I still can't figure it out, did he really think he was going to get some action? Or was it all a joke for his buddies back home? either way, he was clearly not here for the right reasons lol. Finally Des has had enough and sends him packing.  On the way out he says his mom says he has a love tank is full, WTF? Way to go Hickory NC
Going home- Diego (duh), Larry, The Magician, Micah and his tacky suit and Mike R. which I thought was odd, should have gone with the accent like Juan Pablo did.

My Top Picks are Brooks, Brandon, Drew, Chris and Michael G.
Season Tease. ok so from what I see in the previews. Brooks, and a blonde make it far. Ben is labeled as this years villain, and someone has a girlfriend, in this season of The. Most. Shocking. Season. Ever!

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