Chris Harrison arrives, wearing a teal and yellow plaid shirt that matches the walls behind him, to tell the 13 remaining guys to pack their bags. Des has already left for Atlantic City and the guys have 2 hours to pack. Bye LA, hello New Jersey. Does Des have a thing for the Jersey Shore? I mean half the guys look like they just came off that show. Brooks compares Des to a unicorn, "she's like a mythical creature that shows up for 2 seconds and then is gone.......usually with another man" hahaha spot on Brooks!
First Date- 1 on 1 with DJ Brad.
The guys say Brad is the quietest guy in the house and that must be true because we have barely heard a peep out of his mouth. Brad meets Unicorn Des at the boardwalk and they spend the afternoon riding rides, playing games and eating salt water taffy. Des smells chocolate and follows are nose to the chocolate factory, I guess Charlie snuck them in the backdoor. The guys can see them riding on the carousel from their room and Zak is jealous b/c "things always happen on carousels" what kind of amusement parks does he go to? Later they have champagne on the beach on a kickass sandcastle couch by a bonfire. Looks pretty chilly. Des asks him what he's looking for in a wife and replies "nothing specific" sweet and a good mom, She tries to pry for more details but it's crickets. Yeah he's not getting a rose. Dinner that night is at a lighthouse and is even more boring. Again Des tries to get him to open up and Brad just basically mumbles, makes noises, and tell her how aammmaazing she is. Zzzzzzzzz. Since dinner is a fail, she asks if they want to take a walk to the top of the lighthouse. A gazillion steps later they reach the top and she's like thanks but I can't give you the rose, Bye. hahahaha he has to walk all the way back down all those steps. That's one hell of a walk of shame, and he didn't even get any!
Group Date-
Brooks, Bryden, Zak K, Kasey, Drew, Juan Pablo, Zack W, Mikey, Ben, Michael, and Chris.
The guys meet Des outside the Boardwalk Hall building and Juan Pablo immediately checks to make sure there are no wires or anything above that would indicate something dangerous. hahaha. They walk inside to meet Chris Harrison and the reigning Miss America-Mallory. Turns out they are going to be competing in a Mr. America Pageant, most of the guys don't look to excited except Michael who says he's dreamed of this as a kid. He has got to be joking, I hope. They get lessons from a pageant coach who is so fabulous he almost caught my tv on fire. There is a "talent table" where the guys can pick a talent accessory. Juan Pablo picks up the baton and is surprising good! Maybe comeback Kacey B from last season needs his number when this doesn't work out. Zak W picks the guitar, Ben picks the ribbon for ribbon dancing. Smart choice haha. Chris picks the heels. Oh boy. I think he's just being silly but I never find drag sexy. Des goes over to help him strap them on. Drew picks Shakespeare and says this is a "hodge podge of Tom foolery" more Drew stat!!! Kacey will be attempting to tap. Miss America Mallory pulls each of the guys away for a practice interview. She is one of the judges, along with Des and the major of Atlantic city. He looks like Cleveland from yay know, the Cleveland show. The show starts and the real interviews begin. Kacey is asked if he is a giver or a taker in a relationship? Of course he is a giver and affectionate. Zak W's question is he water or fire? He replies fire bc "the person you are with, it's your responsibility to fuel her fire" hmmm good answer. Brooks gets asked what kind of animal he would be and he immediately replies "a lion, no hesitation, king of the jungle" Love him!! Chris fumbles on his answer but it comes across endearing. Next is Juan Pablo- what is your ideal woman like? He says she has to love his daughter. Wait? He has a daughter? Perfect place to tell Des that, on the stage of a Mr America spoof. Mikey says he hates when women think he's just a meathead, well if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck.......
The talent portion begins and Kacey comes out to tap, he makes up a silly story about tapping as a child and then gives it his best effort and its not completely horrible. Brooks sings a funny song while playing the ukulele, then proceeds to smash it like a rockstar. I think Des is really digging his funny personality that's coming out this episode, or at least I am. Ben flails around with his ribbons, not graceful. Chris comes out shirtless wearing the heels and spinning hula-hoops on his arms, the audience goes wild. Mikey shows he's not a meathead by stripping and doing handstand push-ups, not a douchey thing to do at all right. Bryden even does a Magic Mike striptease, sorry you will never be Tatum Channing. Zak W sings a song while playing the guitar and its ok.
Final round is the swimsuits. Each of the guys is given swim trucks, except Juan Pablo, Ben and of course Zak w who all get speedos hahaha. Mikey T says he is jealous he doesn't get to wear a speedo, see not a meathead at all. Each guy comes out to strut his stuff. Drew looks like he just walked off an Abercrombie shoot, seriously, can he get more screen time than Mikey or James?? Speaking of, Mikey comes out to prove his point one more time and flexes his pecs, ugh. You can tell Brooks is out of his element but he has fun with it and does silly poses, Des eats it up. They put Juan Pablo in a speedo and they don't even show us!! Damn u ABC. The completion is over, the 2nd runner up is Brooks! First runner up is Zak W? Guess she liked his song. And the winner is.......Kacey! He does the usual pageant winner freakout hahahhaa he's really growing on me. He doesn't win a rose but he does get flowers, a plush crown and a sash lol.
After the competition, they head to an indoor pool for a pool party. Chris wants to show her he has a serious side. He used to be a pro baseball player, when that faltered he started writing poetry. Des also writes poetry so she eats it up. Ben pulls Des away.....to literally 5 steps away. They are sitting RIGHT in front of all the guys. More reason for the guys to hate him. And I can sense that Des has finally seen the tension that is brewing there. Of course Ben says he's not there to make friends, remember Tierra? Yep. Next is Zak's turn and he pulls out the guitar again (did they get to keep the talent accessories? Haha) so he can finish the rest of the song he wrote from the competition. She likes it so much that he gets the rose.
Cut to James back at the guys suite all alone since brad went home and all the other guys are on the date. What would a normal heterosexual man do? Eat chocolate covered strawberries while taking a bubble bath. No words can explain what we saw here.
Second Date- 1 on 1 with the other Meathead, James.
Des comes by the guys suite to pick up James, and did anyone else see Kacey sitting on the couch wearing his crown and sash? Hahaha wonder if he meant for Des to see that bc he had disappeared in the next shot?? Anyways,
Des takes James on a helicopter ride over the Hurricane Sandy destruction. James says all the right things but he just makes my skin crawl. I don't see what Des sees in him, and that was before the bubble bath shot. The Red Cross meets them on the ground and they walk what's left of the neighborhoods. They meet a couple, Manny and Jan, who lost their house to the hurricane. Jan also says they spent their anniversary in a shelter and that just pulls on Des' heartstrings. She sends Manny and Jan to the romantic dinner that was for her and James. Instead James suggests they grab pizza and beer at a local spot, stop trying to get me to like u James! It's gonna take more than pizza and beer but that's a good start. At dinner, Manny and Jan seem to be enjoying their fairy tale date and an Elvis impersonator(?) comes out to deliver them a scrapbook of their wedding! So sweet, but how did the Red Cross get their lost wedding pictures? Obama have access to those too? Back to Des and James. She asks about his past relationships and he confesses that he cheated on his college girlfriend! Why r u telling her this??? It's official, he's a complete douche, get rid of him Des. What? The date rose??? Nooooo Des, ugh I guess she already dumped brad, gotta keep some guys for next week. And he gets a Darius Rucker (hootie) concert!! Finally a name I recognize! I cant get enough of his "Wagon Wheel" song. They slow dance and kiss but I don't think he will last long.
Cocktail party-
Michael has an acronym poem for her, D is for down to earth. E for easy to talk to, and S for her smile that lights up the room. Wow is this the 2nd grade? Might as well have done a haiku-
Des is so pretty
Ben is all I think about
Banana Pudding
Des is so pretty
Ben is all I think about
Banana Pudding
Des thinks its funny and they kiss. His thumb is all wrapped up? Why didn't we see this injury? Did he go the hospital too? Bryden is talking with the guys and says he's starting to have doubts about his relationship with Des. The guys don't look too sad about this news and neither am I. He sits down with Des and explains to her that since their first date, he feels their connection is falling behind. At least he's being honest, I kinda expected Des to let him go but she convinces him to stay.
Rose ceremony-
James and Zak w already have roses. She gives roses to Chris, Brooks, Juan Pablo, Drew, Michael, Ben, and Kacey. Next she calls Bryden andhe pauses for a second but accepts the rose, ugh he needs to just leave. Final rose goes to.... Mikey T. So it's Zack k who goes home. No shocker since I thought he went home weeks ago : /
My top picks- Brooks, Drew, Chris. Kacey is growing on me, we will see.
Next week- they head to Germany!! And do we finally see the fist fight??
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