Friday, June 14, 2013

Bachelorette Des- Episode 3

Hello! Welcome back. This is teased as the week we find out which guy has the girlfriend, dun dun dun!
First Group Date- Dodgeball-
Chris(1st night proposal fakeout), Tighty Whities Brandon, Shirtless Zak K, Ben(with a son), Drew(cutie with no screen time), "I got your back" Michael, Brooks(very 1st date), Brad(Accountant/DJ), Mikey Testosterone and Brian(it ended a couple months ago but really 6 months ago). At first they are put up against Pro Dodgeballers to practice, and man those guys are brutal!  Sean's "dangerous" roller derby challenge last year has nothing on this!  The game starts, and what might possibly be the cheesyist intro ever, even for Bachelorette standards, shows the guys with determined expressions, slow walking onto the field, and those short shorts and headbands don't help.  They put the guys on teams against each other, both teams each win one round. Final Round, the guys rush in to grab the ball and Brooks breaks his finger, his right hand index finger, ouch!  He tries to downplay the injury at first but you can tell when the pain starts to sink in, I feel bad for him, he's my favorite at this point.  He's rushed to the hospital, Des looks sincerely concerned about him.  The Final round, it's just Chris against Zak......Zak/Blue team ends up winning but Des takes both teams on the evening date that night. Didn't Des give Sean hell last year because she drank that goats milk for nothing, he ended up taking both teams??

Anyway, Later that night Des makes a toast "Here's to Brooks for taking a finger" HAHAHA! oh Des. She sits down with DJ Brad first and he tells her he has a son and his ex tried to accuse him of abusing her. Red Flag. He hasn't got much screen time, has he always sounded that feminine??? Next Chris sweeps her away to "this little spot I found" which looked like a Helipad I believe. The views of the city were beautiful but I think producers had help in pointing him in the right direction, you rarely just stumble across a no access helipad. They start to build a connection and kiss, I'm sure he gets a rose this week. Brooks shows back up with his bandaged finger, still in his dodgeball shorts and apparently taken a fistfull of pain meds.  Even doped up, he has a ton of chemistry with her. Wait What? Chris gets the date rose??  I mean the helipad views were great and all but dude broke his most important phalanges! Poor guy looks hurt too. To rub it in, Chris and Des get a not so private concert that the remaining guys can hear, and even see if they walk to the balcony. They slow dance and kiss.
2nd Date-
Hashtag guy Kacey gets this weeks 1 on 1 date, but not before Chris Harrison interrupts our usually scheduled programming.  A guy in the house has a girlfriend and it's ugly eyebrows Brian, oh snap! I bet that never happens on this show. My Husband says Brian looks like Nick from New Girl and he's right, uglier of course. Des hops in her teal bentley and drives over to guys house pissed. Des starts out polite with Brain, asking him if he's sincerely here for her, He says of course of course. Oh really? because your girlfriend that's right behind you begs to differ! "oh jeeze" was his reaction.  At this point all the other guys in the house are crowding around the windows to watch this drama unfold, quick grab the popcorn! Brian still tries to deny any relationship with this girl Stephanie, even her son. Ouch, kids are involved? asshat.  Stephanie barely gets a breath in as she explains that he told her he was coming out to Cali for a business trip, he even invited her along knowing she could never come. Shady!! Now, I don't know this girl, I feel horrible for her and her son but does she remind anyone else of Tierra? Just my observation.  So Des tells Brian that he needs to pack his shit and leave. See ya!  sidenote- Brian and Stephanie left in separate cars, but do they have to fly back on the same plane since they are obdviously going back to the same city?? Awkward!!
The guys are discussing what just happened, Brandon talks about how he knows how the son feels since his mom was a hoe-bag apparently.  She brought a lot of guys into the home, he would become attached to them then they would disappear.  He's crying again, I feel bad for the guy but he cries more than Des! I think he needs therapy, and a hug.
Kacey finally gets to go on his date. He mentions that he doesn't like heights, so naturally the date involves heights. They will be dancing on the side of a building while attached to ropes, also known as bandaloop, who knew? They didn't seem scared at all, Des was flipping and spinning all over the place, which she seems to enjoy more than the company.  Kacey isn't so bad once he stopped being #annoying, but i just don't see any chemistry there.  Later that night at dinner, a sudden wind storm rolls in. They decide it would be a good idea to jump on the pool. Des is freezing, pool furniture is flying everywhere, they both have towels on their heads?? and Kacey thinks "hey now looks like an opportune moment to kiss her"  Fortunately for Kasey, Brian's big fail earlier worked in his favor. A 'thanks for not being a cheater but I don't see you sticking around long" rose.
Group Date 3- Lone Ranger
Jeff Probst lookalike Dan, Jersey shore James (Jamesy Shore?), Juan Pablo, Veteran Bryden and Shirtless Zak get the 2nd group date. A stagecoach and horses are waiting out front to take them to a cowboy bootcamp. Des shows up wearing an old fashioned purple gown, she looked stunning!! She does some stunt action and throws a dude off a roof, too bad it wasn't Brian.  The guys change into cowboy attire and they look waaaaay better than the dodge ball outfits. Of course this southern girl is a sucker for cowboys!  Des changes again into a pretty white southern belle dress, love these old dresses. The guys each do their scripted stunts, Dan rips his pants, Juan Pablo was all suave speaking his lines in spanish. Des all but throws are panties at him, so of course he gets 1 on 1 time, no rose yet.  They get a private screening of the new Lone Ranger with Johnny Depp.  They feed each other popcorn, Juan Pablo conveniently drops popcorn down her cleavage and that starts the make out session.  These 2 have the most sexual chemistry but he's not marriage material.....she will probably keep him around for the fantasy suites later though. Cut to later that night, back with the rest of the group date guys. (what were they doing for the 2 hour 29 min run time of the Lone Ranger? eating popcorn of each other too? maybe) Her and Bryden have a connection but he's so shy and timid, she's always asking him to kiss her already!  She was very giggly with Zak, maybe it was the moonshine. Jamesy Shore explains that his dad has cancer and wants to be sure she's not wasting his time being here, umm yes go home and see your sick father dude!  Wait, where is she going? to get the date rose! Lesson kids- Cancer gets you rose's, broken bones do not.  She hands him the rose and, oh crap, he gives her a pretty purple flower he picked while she stepped away.  That's a first on this show and very sweet actually, Damn you James, you're growing on me : \
Cocktail Party-
There is no cocktail party, instead Des is having a pool party, same thing. Everyone fights for time with Des but shirtless, of course that's nothing different in Zaks world.  Ben sneaks out to greet Des as she pulls up to the guys house, They go for a quick ride and chat, nothing wrong with that, gotta get time with Des any way you can and he does not have a rose yet like last week. The only problem here is his unfortunate tank top and bright pink shorts. Some of the guys witness them pull up and kiss. Jersey Mike and Michael G pull him aside when he denies having one on one time yet. I think it would be nice to have friends in the house but I think Ben is right, he was being more respectful by keeping things between him and Des instead of flaunting here and bragging there. Again, I still have yet to see anything from Ben, except spend time with Des.  The worst threat Ben gets is "we are no longer friends" from Kasey.  Why is Kasey mad? he has a rose already?  Dan pulls Des aside with a pizza and the pizza box reads "Will you be my GF or is that cheesey?" I love me some pizza but yes that was heavy on the cheese.  Brandon is crying again, and telling Des he loves her already! whoooaaa nellie! You need at least 5 episodes to fall in love not 3, duh everyone knows that : )-  Des looks uncomfortable. What's also uncomfortable is the shot of Chris Harrison announcing it's rose ceremony time and ALL the men and little ol' Des are the that tiny hot tub, Sausagefest!
Rose Ceremony-
Everyone looks showered and dressed up, too bad they didn't roll with the bathing suits. I do love Des' Royal blue dress with a royal blue sequins.....breastplate? too much GoT I know. I hear Des designs all her cocktail dresses this season, Good job girl! I'm a sparkle and glitter whore hahaha the more sequins the better! The rose ceremony goes by fast and it's Survivor Dan and BooHoo Brandon are left without roses.  Does the bachelor have a therapist? He needs to work out his abandonment issues.
My top picks- Still Brooks, Drew, and Chris.
Next Week on the Bachelorette- They leave the Bachelor Pad and head to Atlantic City...........New Jersey!!! Go figure. Looks like DJ Brad and Jamesy Shore get 1 on 1 dates next week, The group date consists of a Mr. America pageant and of course more Ben non-drama.......will he finally be a real villain next week?
-Just my Jenuine opinion!

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