Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Bachelorette Des- Episode 7

This week, Des and the 5 remaining guys are in Madeira, Portugal, an island off the coast of northern Africa, near the Canary Islands. Watch out for pirates! or is that southern Africa? who knows. Previews show lots of ocean and boats, fireworks, and lots of nerves. Looks like all the guys get some substantial 1 on 1 time. Drew says this city was built for love.....5 minutes ago he didn't even know this place existed.
Des has some friends over to chat about the guys, it's fellow contestants from Sean's season- Jackie (quiet redhead), Lesley (smart blonde from DC) and Catherine (Sean's final choice).  Dang what a great place to meet up for a girls gossip session!!!  Lesley says she just realized this was the week Sean sent her home....speaking of- "How are you and Sean" Des asks Catherine.  They are great, each others best friends. Well good, I want them to work out. Catherine says Sean is rooting for her, this had got to be somewhat awkward no? My fiancé dumped you Lesley this week and he's rooting for the girl he dumped at hometowns,yes you Des, to find love here. Weird.  Des starts to talk about each of her remaining guys-
Chris-supportive, even without speaking
Brooks-positive, adventurous, fun, but is he ready to settle down?
Mike-Fed Prosecutor, smart, genuine.
Zak- adventurous, energetic, reflective (huh?)
Drew- sweet but is there spice?
Des admits she's falling for more than 1 guy.
They are all sitting on a balcony overlooking the resorts pool and of course here come the guys to conveniently hang out at the pool below.  The girls squeal from excitement, they want to check out these guys that Des has kept. Where did the binoculars come from lol? The girls take turns looking through them to get a better view. Catherine says "I don't know how to work these, I'm not a creeper" hahahaha funny. The guys can obviously see them, and the hooting and hollering was a dead giveaway. The guys have got to feel on display at this point. Jackie thinks Drew is hot, that's about all she said the whole time. no wonder she never got any screen time last season. The girls turn back around to talk about the guys more now that they have a face/body to the name. 
Who is the best kisser? Des says Drew! I guess that alley kiss knocked Brooks from the top spot.
Most Successful? Michael
Most Athletic? Chris, Des thought he was sexy on the soccer field!
Best Body? Drew
Best Eyes? Brooks
Most Adventurous? Zak
And biggest *bleep*.....I'm assuming Catherine said penis....she doesn't seem like a dick kind of girl. Des says she has no idea but guesses Chris does! She turns beet red hahaha. So Miss "I'm going to wait till marriage to sleep with Sean" must think Des is a slut haha.
The girls leave and it's time for Brooks 1 on 1 date. He hasn't had 1 on1 date since the very first date weeks ago! That seems so long ago. Des picks Brooks up in a tiny car, a Fiat? Anyways, they drive up the hills of the island, stop on the side of the road to look out at the scenery. They are standing WAAAAY too close to the edge of the cliff but it is beautiful!  Reminds me of Maui, Hawaii.  Of course it has lots of beaches but it also has a volcano that you can drive to above the clouds. Okay back to Madeira, They drive up the mountain some more, and they stop to have a picnic, again breathtaking literally....they are on a cliff platform on top of the clouds, looks like they are floating, I just envision plummeting to my death.  Des says "Welcome to cloud 9!" cute. They keep talking back and forth about wanting to fall in love, not sure they are quiet there yet. Brooks says at least he knows they both want to fall in love.....well Duh!  Later that night they have dinner overlooking the little city.  Brooks is nervous about taking Des home to meet his family, the few girls he has brought home, his parents loved them and became attached. So the breakups are hard on the whole family. Awww. They come up with a love scale- On a scale of walking to running how much are they in love?.. 1-stepping, 2-skipping, 3-jogging, 4-running and 5-the finish line-being in love.  It's silly and cute, like most couples have cute little things they do that everyone else probably thinks is weird. Des says she is starting to run while Brooks is still jogging. Brooks sees that they are not quiet on the same page but he hopes to catch up and wants her to meet his family. They makeout and Fireworks go off right above them. He will definitely be getting a rose later. (Fun Fact! -Madeira holds the Guinness World Record for largest fireworks.....I can believe it, they looked awesome)
Chris gets the next 1 on 1 date.  He already knows he wants to take her home to his folks, so there is no question there.  They spend a day on a yacht sailing around the Atlantic.  Chris is just happy no one can crash his date like Bryden did!  I can see Bryden swimming around the boat now with one of those fake shark fins hahaha and where would you get one of those anyways? hahaha. Back to "reality", Chris rubs sunscreen all over Des and she says they definitely don't lack in the sexual chemistry dept. Watch out Brooks! They have a picnic on one of the surrounding deserted islands. Waves crash on the rocks by them while they sip champagne.  Chris has an idea to make a message in a bottle, I'm assuming from one of the bottles they drank?  They write a poem together, very cheesy but hey it's their thing...like Brooks and the running in love scale. They put the message in the bottle and throw it out to sea........and it immediately slams into the jagged rocks there. Nah I dunno, but how could it not?  Later that night they have dinner in a wine tavern (loving all these wine cellar places this season!!)  They talk about wanting about 3 kids, wants them to have siblings to play with. Chris wants to drop the L-bomb on Des but he starts to sweat, turn red and almost kick over a side table and it's really endearing. He has another poem, oh great more rhyming and shit. He finally says I love you and it's really sweet, Des loves it.
Michael finally gets a 1 on 1 date, it's a little late in the game to have not been on a date yet, I don't think they have even kissed!  Chris and Brooks had their second 1 on 1 dates with her and look how much farther they are, falling in love and whatnot.  Drew and Zak's names weren't on the date card so that means they get stuck with the 2 on 1 date, yuck!  Back to Michael, I think the reason Des has kept him around is because of his job title, did you know he was a federal prosecutor? lol. They walk around the city, shop, try new foods. Michael has a stronger lisp here, what is going on? See that's what happens when you don't really date someone, they have a lisp and you don't even know it, maybe because all he's done is yell all season? They stop to have a picnic at a really cool pond area, it has stone patios and archways, even a waterfall. Man I have got to look more into this place! Afterwards they decide they want to die or something b/c they go street sledding. This does not look safe, the only thing to stop on coming traffic is a stop sign, one bus driver not pay attention and you are road splatter, no thanks, Michael you go ahead. Later at Dinner, he tells her how great of a time he had today, it was a blast, Des is just like awww thanks hahahaha. No "me too" or anything, red flag buddy you are going home. He talks about his diabetes, the 700 cases he has won, and how he doesn't want to be the "worlds best prosecutor" he wants it to say dad or husband. He found out he was being cheated on from Facebook pics, Snooze, I'm not feeling it and Des isn't either.  I think his case is about to be closed.
2 on 1 date, Drew and Zak get this date, there is a rose to be given out but no one is going home on this date.  Des picked these 2 for this date because they just had dates in Barcelona.  But Des also wants to see if Drew can let loose and if Zak can compete for her attention. The previews from last week make it look like Drew wants to leave....we will see. The date is go-karting, They go around the track a couple times, then Des says "How about you two go at it and not let me get in the way" hahahahaha that's what she said, literally hahahaha. The guys "go at it" aka race and Zak wins, by a long shot.  He gets alone time first, He shows her some "art" he did of their journey together.  First picture is a drawing of abs..........b/c he was shirtless the first night lest we forget. Next is a colorful drawing of Madeira's landscape, not bad. Last is a drawing of the mountain tops of Germany, where he shared the priest story.  Cute idea, Drew what you got? Drew really wants Des to come home and meet his sister who is mentally handicapped, and that he is falling in love with her. He also says he's never had these feelings before......what? you've never been in love?? Red Flag, Red Flag.  I think Drew is in way over his head, she just doesn't have as strong feels for him as she does Chris and Brooks.  But how can she not give him the rose after all that and the sister card. Of course he gets the rose, Zak looks crushed, but hey at least your not going home..........yet. So no Drew drama, either that was careful editing or Drew doesn't threaten to leave just yet.
Rose Ceremony- Des is wearing a beautiful backless teal gown and sits down with Chris Harrison to talk first. Des thinks Drew is the hottest but she has fallen in love with Brooks! oh snap she said it! of course Brooks doesn't hear it and Chris also points out Brooks has yet to say it to her.  Oh Harrison, the voice of reason. So Harrison asks, so is it over, have you found the one? Des says no because she is also falling for Chris too, who HAS said I love you.  She admits to falling for 2 people "Welcome to the Bachelorette" she says hahaha at least she knows this isn't normal.  Ok so Drew already has a rose and we know Chris and Brooks are staying. It's down to Zak or Michael and I don't care either way, neither stand a chance.  Zak gets the final rose and Michael's case is dismissed.  In the exit limo Michael calls his Mom, wait where did he get the cell phone?  Did they give him his phone back that fast? Guess who he calls, yep his Mommy, it all makes since now, the drama, the lisp, he's a huge momma's boy.  I don't recall anyone calling and crying to their mommy as soon as they were eliminated. 
Next week- Hometown dates!!!! Woohooo! and Des' asshole brother is back! and is shown giving the stank eye to Brooks at the rose ceremony, oh hell no!!

So who is Des going to choose? Does Brooks have this in the bag or does he get cold feet? If she chooses Chris, he has got to be bummed about her stronger feelings for Brooks at this point. And who goes home first next week, Drew or Zak?............My bet is Zak.

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