Barcelona, Spain! Previews show dates with Drew and Zak, and lots of drama with James. Finally some real drama, unlike Ben. The guys are sitting at an L shaped table at some outside cafe, Chris Harrison comes out in a jacket and tee. He tells the guys that there will be no cocktail party this week so they need to use their time wisely....ie-don't spend it talking about the other guys.
1st date- Drew! Finally some Drew time! He's been one of my front runners since the beginning, Cutie. He's the one who overheard James talking about being the next bachelor, but Drew says he's not going to bring it up yet, going to enjoy the date with Des and focus on her. good! He kisses her right of the bat! Talk about an ice breaker! I think it was a good move, he is much further behind than some of the other guys. They walk around Barcelona sightseeing, it starts to rain so they stop for some coffee. Des pulls the "Is there anything on my face?" joke, Drew sucks it off her face, see icebreaker worked lol. They stop for tapas and wine. There, Drew opens up about his father. He is a recovering alcoholic....and he has cancer, which no one in his office knows, thanks son. Something tells me they do now. At dinner that night, Drew grabs Des and says lets go! They take off, the camera is still just sitting there filming an empty table! Hey Cameraman, grab the camera a follow them! They catch up with them and they are having a full on makeout session outside the building against the wall. Reminds me of Emily and Arie's wall kiss too lol. If she had friend zone doubts before, it's all out the window now! Of course he gets the date rose, I didn't see Des grab it on the run but I guess a producers handed it to her, or she pulled it out of her ass, either one. But wait, now that he has secured the rose, he's going to bring up James. No!! Your date was going so well, don't ruin it! He tells her what he heard in the van, that James wants to be in the top 4 so his chances of being the next bachelor are higher. Des is pissed.
Group Date- Chris, Kasey, Brooks, Michael, James and Juan Pablo. Zak's name was not on the date card so he gets the other 1 on 1 date. Bummed Juan Pablo didn't get the 1 on 1 time, he's barely had anytime with her, oh well, there are soccer balls on the date card, so something tells me he will be just fine. Drew tells Kasey and Michael what he told Des last night, so Kasey is also going to explain what he heard. Des says James is a situation but she's not going to jump to conclusions and wants to talk to him first. No James, she said A situation, not THE situation, ugh. But that has to wait, the guys are going to be playing soccer! excuse me, futbol. They will be competing against professional female players and Des, the guys do not look scared but I think maybe they should be. Brooks is funny here (he's been really funny lately, if it doesn't work out with Des, HE would make an entertaining, witty Bachelor) Brooks says- "Juan Pablo's name means-you have no chance, and I'm going out with Des at this moment on the soccer field" and "listen girl scouts, we're about to bake some cookies" . Of course Juan Pablo is great a futbol, as he scores the first 2 goals against the girls but it's all down hill after that. The girls score goal after goal after goal. It doesn't help that James is a terrible goalie. Hey douche, you need to move to try to stop the ball not just stand there and half ass extend your arm, you missed it. The girls won 10-2 hahahaha. Later that night, Des pulls Chris away for some time. She tells him that he looked good and athletic on the field today, he could probably do anything she threw at him....that's what she said hehehe. They are super cute together. Des also wrote him a poem, whaaaat!? She's got some major feels for him. Next is Brooks and he tells Des that he is becoming emotionally involved now. They makeout. Chris and Brooks-Top 2 folks.
Finally the James drama!- Meanwhile Kacey sits James down to talk like adults, Chris and Michael are also there. Kacey explains what he heard that night in the van. James looks so dumb founded right now, priceless. He rambles something then starts to yell at Michael, He says "YOU have never been on a 1 on 1", what does that have to do with anything?? James and Michael start yelling back and forth while Kasey and Chris are still just sitting there calmly. Michael says James seems like he's auditioning for the Jersey Shore hahahaha, that's what I've been saying since day 1. Chris actually tries to shhhhh them but then James turns back to Kasey still yelling, in fact he gets up now and starts pointing his finger in his face. Kasey is still even tempered. James denies everything and tries to blame it on Mikey who left last week, says they are two different ppl, really? Guess it was so hard for me to tell the first couple episodes. Kasey is like um no YOU brought up the bachelor, not Mikey. You. Pause, James has to think of a comeback:dumbface. He finally says "So what you just know everything I said now" Ummm yeah because I HEARD you, ya know ears and stuff. James says ok we will see on the cameras at the tell all show. Man he's a fan of this show huh? The guys are like, um yeah you had this discussion at the time you knew no cameras or mics were on, and we were asleep. So no there won't be footage. James just goes hulk and says fuck you, and fuck you, and fuck you to each of the guys. Chris throws his hands up like hey I'm just sitting here. Kasey has had enough, it's just not getting through James thick skull, so he walks away to speak with Des. He explains everything to Des and it all checks out with Drew's story earlier. Des is pissed, she cancels the date, no date rose tonight! All the guys leave, except James who she asks to stay behind. Get em' Des!! She is about to go all West Virginia hoodrat on him(Emily's season) lol. James of course denies everything, it was all Mikey because he didn't have a 1 on 1 date, again what's with this 1 on 1 excuse?? He pulls a Tierra and says the guys are jealous of him and ganging up on him and this show is so hard for him, oh booo hoooo! Oh no, now he says he has a headache, ouch he has to think. Now he is crying! Trying to get the pity rose. His roided out neck is all wet from man tears. Ugh now Des is crying too! No Des! Don't cry for him. Des has to take a breather and walks away to gather her thoughts. Send him home Des! But alas, she needs to sleep on it. Ok fine, make him sweat. He goes back to the guys suite, walks in, all the guys are sitting there, he says "Goodnight gentleman" and goes to bed. The guys just shake their heads in disgust.
1 on 1 date- Zak gets the lovely spot of the morning after date. Zak is a nice guy and all but I just don't like him, I don't like his face. He is tooo tan and his teeth are tooooo white. And he has the crazy eye. Wait, and he's taller than Des even with heels on? I thought he was shorter for some reason. For their date they are going to an art studio. They do a couple of drawings of each other and Zak's is pretty terrible, Des falls on the floor from laughing so hard at it. Next a male model walks in in a robe and we all know where this is headed. He disrobes and Zak looks so awkward. They draw portraits of the nude model but we don't get to see their "art". Afterwards, Zak excuses himself, he comes back in a robe. This is Zak, the same guy that arrived the first night shirtless.....and who also considered becoming a priest in the past. So he disrobes in the front of Des and luckily he has on bottoms.......tighty whities. I'm assuming those are his everyday undies, unless he stole them from Brandon during the Solja Boy video a few episodes back. Zak's moto must be "When in doubt, go shirtless" He puts his clothes back on and they head to dinner, which is a restaurant in a cave. Pretty cool actually, and it's a wine cellar! Sold. Des says she loves his infectious eyes....I call them crazy eyes but to each her own. Zak's parents have been married forever and wants that, he also loves to travel. They makeout and he gets the Rose. I dunno, Zak bores me. Des likes him but he won't be in the finale.
Back at the guys suite, James sits down with Drew to talk. It starts out civil. Drew says he heard James say Top 4=Bachelor. There's that dumb face again James makes while he's trying to think of an excuse. Of course he gets defensive and starts yelling, that didn't take long. Drew starts to get heated, raises his voice at best but that's like an angry bunny. James tries to turn the tables and tells Drew to stop yelling, hahahaha what? Ok James you are unreasonable. Drew asks James why he is not 100% focused on Des.......blank dumbface again. Drew-1 James-0
Ok day of the Rose Ceremony- All the guys are gathered in the living room, there are already 3 dudes on the couch, Juan Pablo, Michael and Brooks. James walks in (crickets) and sits right in between Michael and Juan Pablo hahahah like literally squeezes in, almost on their laps. Awkward Sauce. Michael is about to have a conniption fit. Great TV people. Des walks in and asks to see James outside. yes! hit the road jack! All the guys are pumped figuring he is a goner too. but wait, Des is falling for his lies! Running of the bulls in Spain? Nope that's BS Des is smelling. C'mon Des you're a smart girl! Now he's kissing all over her, ugh. And sweating so hard his man boobs are all wet, really Des????? What do you see? He's safe for the moment and he heads back to the guys suite. Oh boy, shit is gonna hit the fan!! Surprisingly the person most upset is Chris who has pretty much stayed out of all the drama. He says "I'm am 100% not thinking about becoming the Bachelor, ever. Just because you are here does not mean you become the Bachelor" Now it's back to James yelling at Kasey, James-Why can't I think about my future with other girls. Kasey- So when you are dating a girl, you fantasize about your next girlfriend and life without her?? You just got served James.
That night at the Rose Ceremony (the cocktail party was cancelled again) Des is wearing a little black dress, with lace sleeves, cute and simple. Chris Harrison informs us that 3 guys will be going home! 3! that's a lot. James has GOT to be one of those 3. Drew and Zak already have roses so they are safe. First rose- Chris! 2nd, Brooks! and the final rose goes to...................Michael! eh. at least it wasn't James. Kacey and Juan Pablo are out too, I'm not terribly surprised Kacey got the boot considering his 1 on 1 was a disaster a couple weeks ago (windstorm swimming). But Juan Pablo? She should have kept him instead of Michael and all his drama. Did I think he had a shot in hell with Des? No but I figured she's at least give him a date first....or even a fantasy suite lol. On his way out, Juan P just says he wishes he could find a wife and mother to his daughter. sigh.
My Top Picks- Brooks and Chris final 2, Drew and Zak final 4.
Next week we are headed to Madeira, an island off Portugal....near the Canary Islands. Finally tropical setting!! Chris and Michael get 1 on 1 dates? Does Drew leave?? Something happens with Drew, noooooo. They also teased later episodes.....Brooks crying, Chris in a tux(final 2!) and Des says she's not sure about this anymore! Of course editing makes it look more dramatic than it really is but I'm still excited/nervous!
Talk to you next week!
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